Tegshee Walker's Birth Story

Tegshee Walker was born on July 19 into Daddy's loving hands.  7 lbs. 6.5 oz.  21 inches long.  For those that like birth stories, his birth might best be told in pictures.  So, here you go:

My due date was officially July 31.  But, I knew the baby would be coming earlier.  I just had that feeling.

My Dad came to visit for a few days on July 15.  On the night of the 16th he took us all to the movies.  Throughout the movie, River kept wanting to nurse.  Which gave me intensely strong contractions.  I couldn't wait until that movie was over so we could get out of there!  I just wanted to lay down!

The net morning, July 17th, I woke up to water pouring out of me.  It was 6:40 AM.  I told Gana, we congratulated one another, we cleaned up and then I told my Dad.  Who called my mom.  Who called my sister.  Who loaded up the kids in the car.  And everyone got ready for a baby!

I called my midwife and friend who would be coming to the birth.  And I told everyone, "I am not yet in active labor.  So, don't fly here like your hair's on fire."  Did anyone listen to me?  No.  Everyone gets excited for babies in my family.  And I have been known to give birth before they arrived (Captain's 2.5 hours start to finish labor!), so they had good reason not to listen to me.

However....

After a breakfast of eggs and fish roe and a cup of coffee I decided to do some prenatal yoga just to get everything stretched and get some more consistent contractions going.

Saraa joined me.  Notice the chux pad to catch the water which flowed continually.  Things got going, rather slowly.  But, that's how I like it.  Peaceful and slow.  Time for visiting and talking about what the baby will be like, what we should name him or her and all that.  

But....maybe this was a bit too slow.  

12 hours into labor. 

Feeling a wee bit nauseated, hence the bowl.  Just in case.

Still you have to enjoy and laugh now and then.

The kids like to feel how the baby moves during contractions.

My sister feeding and entertaining the 11 children on the porch.

Grandma, waiting patiently for her 18th great grandchild

I took a shower to refresh myself.  Glancing at myself in the mirror I said, "Wow.  I really should have tweezed my eyebrows before I started labor."  Gana said, "That comment right there lets me know we've still got a long ways to go."

Keep calm and labor on, my friends.

Sometime late in the night I got the children to pray for me.  And Lucas blew his shofar!
Totally felt the presence of the Lord!

Things got quite intense during the night.  We thought for sure the baby would arrive before sunrise.  Meg was determined to stay awake the whole night.  Instead....

Yes, this is Meg, konked out in the co-sleeper.
My mom and Gana fell asleep at the foot of the bed.

Everyone fell asleep, including me!  In the morning Meg said, "Oh man!  I didn't make it all night!"  I said, "Don't worry, honey, neither did I!"

That second morning I was tired.  Just tired.  Not in pain.  Not really upset.  Just tired.  I put my head on Gana's shoulders and cried my eyes out.  After a few minutes I was all better.  And I had a little breakfast.

I asked my midwife for my first vaginal exam.  What was going on?!  She checked and I was about 5 cm dilated.  OK, that's nice.  She also said that the baby wasn't in the best position, slightly posterior.  

After my water being broken for 24 hours and my contractions totally spacing out and becoming mild again, we decided to bring in reinforcements!  NURSING THE TODDLER!

That got contractions really kicking along!  We thought for sure the baby would be born before the day was over. Yet.....

Here we are about 40 hours into labor.  Notice how many costume changes I've gone through!

My midwife, family and friends have the utmost patience.  They let me quietly labor and do whatever I wanted.  Bath.  Walk outside.  Nap.  Eat. Worship. Pray.  Nice to be around people who don't freak out when I burst out speaking in tongues and weeping to a Jason Upton song.  

On the second night of labor I sent all the children to bed.  No staying up watching me.  My mom and grandma went to bed.  Meg slept next to me on the floor of the bedroom.  The midwife and my friend slept in the living room.  Gana slept next to me in the bed.  When I needed to feel his strength I just reached out and touch him.  He didn't even have to wake up.  I just wanted to feel his strength near me and at the ready.  That helped me to stay calm.

I lay or sat on the bed in absolute silence.  I labored for hours in the night and into the morning.  By myself.  It was peaceful and calm.  My mind was often in a completely different place.  I wouldn't say I was delirious.  But, I was only sort of half-conscious and yet...somehow fully aware.  That makes no sense, I realize.  But it was exactly how it was.

About 5am I put on some Andrea Marie music and just relaxed into that peace.  

About 6am (nearly 48 hours after my water broke) I felt pushy.  So, I woke up Gana and asked him to get our midwife from the living room.  She came in, watched me through a couple contractions.  And I asked her to check me.  She did.

"You still have about 3 cm to go.  But your cervix is very soft."  

And in the next moment I said, "My body is pushing by itself."  She responded so calmly, something like, "I see that."  And Gana set about to fetch the rest of the family.  We had promised the kids and my mom that we wouldn't let them miss it!

But he didn't get a chance to reach everyone.  He had to just scream for everyone. (Thus confirming that I can't be trusted to tell people when to come to my births.)  I screamed for Gana.  "Gana!!!!!!"  He rushed to me.  And in one second stage contraction, I pushed out our baby, straight into Daddy's hands!  

There is a picture I can't really show you because it's totally not decent, but as the baby is coming out, I am laughing!  Yes, laughing!!!

The cord was tangled around his neck and body.  I unwrapped him myself and Gana put him on my stomach.  Then he said, "Meg, you owe be 10 bucks!"  Which she knew meant, "It's a boy!"

My Mommy, my baby and me

Me and my two nursing babies: Tegshee and River

The kids went with the midwife to examine the placenta and have a little science lesson.  Plus, using all the midwife's equipment to check one another out.

We knew we wanted to call him Tegshee, which is the Mongolian word for "Straight" as in the "straight and narrow."  But, all along the pregnancy we could not think of a middle name.  As I sat in the rocking chair with him when he was about an hour old, I suddenly said, "What about Walker?"  Thus the full meaning of his name would be, "One who walks straight."  

Right after that, my friend who was supporting me through labor said, "The verse for today is Deuteronomy 30:16, 'In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.'"

That settled it.  Tegshee Walker was his name!

Nana B, Del the midwife, and Tegshee

Grandma and Tegshee

We celebrated with a BIRTH-day cake:

Getting his first chiropractic adjustment at home with Tio.

The whole thing from water breaking to birth was just minutes shy of 48 hours.  But the whole thing was very peaceful, very calm, and pretty much painless.  It was work and it was exhausting, but it was beautiful.  I was surrounded by loving and supportive people, but was able to labor as I wanted--sometimes all alone, sometimes being very social.  And my baby was born into a total atmosphere of joy.

In fact, beginning the second day, Tegshee started laughing--out loud!--in his sleep.  So sweet!  He must have some beautiful dreams.  And that makes Mommy and Daddy so happy.

Things not to say to Mommy in her third trimester....

The four year old: Wow, Mom!  Your underwear is really, really big.

~

The husband: Are you sure you can drive?  Can you fit behind the steering wheel?

~

The ten year old, watching me get ready to go out, as I'm putting on my heels: Wow!  Do your feet still fit in those?

~

The seven year old: Mom, when you have the baby, does your stomach ever go back to being small?  I can't remember.

 

Religious Freedom In Every Sphere

Below is a letter I wrote on behalf of my dear friend and midwife, Brenda, who was arrested for exercising her faith as it applies to childbirth.  She has always felt it was her calling to assist women in birth.  She's a Traditional Christian (unlicensed) midwife, a fact that she has never hid.  In fact, she has openly advertised that fact, because there are those of us out there who are looking for just that--independent, religious centered birth on our own terms.  

We also started a petition on Brenda's behalf.  Even if home birth is not your thing, please sign it.  Even if you are not a Christian, please sign it.  At its core, it's not about home birth or theology.  It's about the essential right we all have to decide what we believe and how that is best lived out.  That is the right and responsibility of every individual (our "inalienable rights") and should not be infringed upon by the government.

SIGN HERE.

To Whom It May Concern:

            My name is Daja Gombojav.  I'm the mother of seven, all born at home.  In six of the seven labors I have been attended by Brenda Capps.  My husband, Gana, is seminary educated with a Master's Degree in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary.  We have been missionaries and pastors in Mongolia.

            When we found out we were expecting our first child we specifically searched out a Christian midwife.  We were thrilled to be introduced to Brenda Capps and to learn she practiced under the Religious Exemption Clause.  We have always viewed birth as not only a spiritual, but a religious experience.  Only in the rare cases of emergencies is it a "medical" experience. 

           This understanding of birth as primarily religious can be found to span many, if not most religious thought and dogmas.  In Judaism, "A midwife’s role, among other things, is to encourage a birthing mother to "let go" and allow herself to become a conduit for this great Force to flow through. Trust in the natural process of labor and in a woman’s body to birth normally and safely is the hallmark of midwifery care. Every culture and religion has their own words and metaphors to describe their reverence and awe of this process. But for Jewish midwives, this reverence stems from an understanding that birth is G‑dly in nature. Their faith in birth is inexorably bound with their faith in G‑d." (Source)

            In Catholicism, birth is understood to be participating in the same creative power that took Eve from Adam's side.  St. Hildegard of Bingen, theologian and Doctor of the Church explains, "When birth is approaching, the vessel in which the child is enclosed is torn, and then comes the eternal energy that took Eve from Adam's side, and is present and turns upside-down all the corners of the shelter in the woman's body.  All the structures of the woman's body rush toward this energy, receive it and open up to it.  They do so until the child emerges.  Afterwards, they return to their previous state.  As the child emerges, its soul too feels the eternal energy that sent it, and meanwhile it rejoices." (St. Hildegard of Bingen in Causes and Cures)

            In Charismatic/Pentecostal Christian traditions, the belief that Jesus reversed the curse, thus lifting the pain of childbirth is in agreement with Romans 14:23 which says that anything not from faith is sin.  In a now classic Christian childbirth text, Supernatural Childbirth, author Jackie Mize writes, "When I refer to supernatural childbirth, I’m talking strictly about being able to conceive and to have babies with a pregnancy free from nausea, morning sickness, pain, moodiness, depression and without fear of any kind; then going through the entire labor without pain, and through the delivery without stitches and anesthetic. I’m talking about using the Word of God to overcome, change and make things better." (Supernatural Childbirth, Jackie Mize)

           In Reformed Christian traditions, the understanding of birth being religious extends to conception and pregnancy also.  God is seen as completely Sovereign.  He alone opens and closes the womb.  "Each time a human baby is born, another image bearer of God is brought into the world, thereby making each birth a very spiritual event.  Birth may be a commonly-occurring experience, but that does not make it common, mundane, or insignificant. It is miraculous. Isn't that how God is sometimes? Even His own son's coming to earth seemed "insignificant." A baby born in a stable to a poor family is far from the regalia appropriate for our Messiah, the Son of God.  It almost seems like He chooses to allow Himself to be "hidden" in the most obvious of places." (AboveRubies)

            For our family, we are always striving to live fully integrated lives where our faith informs every aspect of our day-in-and-day-out.  This includes our family planning (or lack thereof), pregnancy, birth, post-partum and the way we raise our children.  Because this is our outlook on family, we believe that childbirth is an expression of our faith.  It is not a medical event that should be managed by men. It is an act of the Sovereign God. 

            When planning for our births a few things are essential: We want to give birth in an atmosphere of faith, peace, and love.  We don't invite anyone who will bring fear, control, or worry.  Everyone present must be in agreement with our objectives of a birth without pain, fear, or intervention.  I want someone who will encourage me to surrender to the Power that is eternal and available.

            This is why we have chosen Brenda to attend us in childbirth six times.  The role she fills is not medical, it is spiritual.  She acts as a sort of guide between a woman and the innate power she has at her disposal to give birth.  Had Brenda not been practicing her art the way she has been, we would have searched out another Christian direct entry midwife.  If we were unable to find one we would have chosen to birth unattended.  That's how strongly we feel about our children not being born into a medical environment--whether that be at the hospital or recreated at home by a caregiver who doesn't truly trust birth.

            We count ourselves extremely blessed to live in a country and state where women have the choice to manage their reproduction according to their own conscience and religion.  We realize that many places the government tries to intervene to tell families how, when and where their children can/should be born.  We pray that California is not headed down that road.  It will be to the detriment to all of us.

            We stand wholeheartedly with Brenda Capps and her practice under the Religious Exemption Clause. 

Sincerely,

Daja Gombojav

Brenda and my sixth baby

If you believe in the First Amendment, if you value your Religious Freedom, if you think that parents should decide for themselves how, where, and with whom they birth their babies, PLEASE sign the petition and make your voice heard.

(Linked to Fight Back Friday, Best Post Of The Week, Simply Natural Saturdays)

River Arvin

He's here!  He made his grand entrance on Monday, October 3rd.  Happy, healthy, and cute as can be!

Our five sons
Ihbeleg, Luc, Israel, Caesar and River

The quick stats are:

7lbs. 12 oz.  
21 inches long
11.5 hours of labor after bag of waters broke.
Weeks and weeks of pre-labor
28 minutes of pushing

For those who like birth stories, keep reading:

For weeks I'd been having prodromal labor.  Every night for weeks I'd go to bed having contractions and dream about going in labor, my water breaking, etc.  But, I'd wake up still pregnant.  I'd have such strong contractions that I'd seriously wonder, "hmmmm....should I call my mom?"

At the same time my grandmother, Grandma Della, (my dad's mom) was being taken care of by hospice. On Monday, September 19, my grandmother (my dad's mom) passed away.  Her funeral was the following Monday, the 25th.  The question was, "Should I go to the funeral or not?"  It was a good 4 hours from home.  I couldn't imagine missing my grandmother's funeral.  But, the thought of having the baby far away from home or in the car was not a pleasant prospect.  So, I sat down and had a talk with the baby in my belly.  "Listen my darling, I am as anxious to hold you as you are to arrive.  But, I need you to wait until at least Tuesday, OK.  We need to go say goodbye to Grandma Della."

On the morning of the funeral Gana put the birth kit in the car (just in case) and made the middle back seat into a bed for me, so I could just lay down and sleep the whole way.  Obedient child that he is, he waited.

My Dad decided that my mom better come home with me from the funeral.  So, Mom and Grandma Jones came home with us.  And then we waited.  And waited.  As much as I love being pregnant, I was ready to go into labor.  I was 71 pounds heavier than my non-pregnant weight, the baby had dropped and I was uncomfortable!  (Yes, you read that correctly.  I gained 71 pounds this pregnancy.  I did not gain it on junk food either.  I'm mildly proud of that.)

Six days passed.  On the evening of Sunday, October 2nd, I sat on the couch next to Gana with a bunch of markers.  We started writing on my belly messages for the baby and for labor.

Faith.


Hope.


Pain-free.


We love you.


Can't wait to meet you.


Perfect Timing.

I went to bed about 10pm.  At 3:15am or so I went to the bathroom for about the gazillionth time.  I got myself tucked back into bed when I felt a small pop--like the baby adjusting himself.  Then some water leaking.  I thought, "Oh, no. Do I have to pee AGAIN?!"  And then a great gush of water.  I nudged Gana.  "My water just broke."  He rolled over, kissed me and said, "Congratulations!"

We called my sister and the midwife.  Gana tidied up the room and lit the candles in our bedroom.

We went back to bed.  And I went back to sleep, with light contractions about 12 minutes apart or so.  Whenever I opened my eyes I could see the three candles burning.

Gana, Me, and River.  


Faith, Hope, and Love.  


The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

I woke up about 6am when the midwife arrived.  Contractions about 8-10 minutes apart.  I listened to Bethel's Be Lifted High on the ipod and relaxed back to sleep.

My song throughout pregnancy and labor was Deep Cries Out by Jesus Culture.

I've got a river of living water
A fountain that never will run dry
It's open Heavens You're releasing
And we will never be denied

Cause we're stirring up deep deep wells
We're stirring up deep deep waters
We're going to dance in the river, dance in the river
Cause we're stirring up deep deep wells
We're stirring up deep deep waters
We're going to jump in the river
Jump in the river and everybody singing now

Deep cries out to deep cries out to
Deep cries out to deep cries out to
So we cry out to, we cry out to, You Jesus

We're falling into deeper waters, calling out to You
We're walking into deeper waters, going after You

I woke about about an hour later with contractions about 7 minutes apart.  We spent the morning walking around the house, dancing a bit to the worship music--now blasting from the stereo, snacking on cereal, almonds, and toast.  My sister, her children, and my grandma arrived about 8am.  Contractions were getting progressively closer together and more intense, but not really painful.  I could still visit with them as I walked around in my very attractive muumuu   About noon or so I decided to take a shower, figuring it might be my last chance.

By 1pm or so I was on my bed and not going anywhere anymore.  The contractions were super intense and getting overwhelming.  Thankfully, I had my birth ball, my labor oil, my Gana and my Meggy with me.  I vocalized through each contractions and could talk between them.  Telling everyone, "Man, I'm just so hot."  Next minute I was too cold.  I had them hoppin' with cold wash cloths and heated rice bag!  My Meggy held my left hand, giving me sips of water and radiating empathy.  (How does a 10 year old girl know how to be the perfect doula?!  It's innate, I'm tellin' you!  Women know how to do this!)  Gana held my right hand and told me how great I was doing.  My midwife sat at the foot of the bed and my mom next to the bed, both with complete patience.  They hardly said anything, except that I could hear them quietly praying, mostly in tongues. (I love that.  I felt infused with faith.)

Meg and Me
We're a team.

About 2:15 or so I really started feeling pushy.  By 2:30 my body was doing it's full work!  Pushing, even without me.  But, it felt good to push, so I did.  I never had a vaginal exam.  As the contraction was gaining intensity they hurt.  But at their peak when the baby put the most pressure in the pelvis, it actually felt good.  And I told the midwife that between contractions.  "I love that feeling of fullness at the peak of contractions!  But, I don't care for the part leading up to it."  What a crazy analytic thought to have during labor!

When we knew that it would be any minute now we called all the kids.  My six children were there and my three year old niece.

After about 15 minutes of pushing, which to me felt like eternity (my second stages have thus far been very short) I reached down hoping to feel my baby's head.  At the peak of the contraction, even reaching inside I still couldn't feel it!  This just bummed me out!  I said--well, more like cried, "Why can't I feel the baby's head?!"  I'm sure I sounded like a desperate woman.  Or a child throwing a tantrum because they can't have the toy they want.

My midwife checked me for the first time.  She said, "Well, you have a little lip of cervix."  She gently lifted it.  I pushed and then I could feel the baby's head!  But, what else?  The midwife grabbed her flashlight.  What's that?  Fingers?  My little man was coming out with his fingers plastered to his head!  So that was what was slowing this thing down!  Little booger.

In a few more great pushes where I think I made some primal noises not heard in the civilized world anymore, he made his entrance!  It was 2:58pm.

We cried and laughed and he was on my chest.  In a matter of moments, without my help, he latched himself on and started nursing like he was starved and he hasn't stopped since!

At birth he weighed 7lbs 12oz.  At 8 days old the doctor weighed him at 10lbs.  That's what around-the-clock nursing will do.

We named him River Arvin.  Arvin (pronounced Arveen) is the Mongolian word for "plenty" or "bountiful."  The inspiration for his name is Psalms 36:8, "They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fullness of your house; and you shall make them drink of the river of your pleasures."

We are so blessed, drinking from the river of God's goodness towards us and enjoying all the abundant fullness of His house.

Third Trimester

Last night I dreamed what I was supposed to post today.  It was brilliant, I'm sure--as all third trimester dreams are.  It was going to inspire you to birth naturally.  This morning, of course, I have no idea what it was.  I do remember that Jake Gyllenhaal was married to my pastor's daughter though.  And I had to hurry up to blog my brilliant post before we all got in a little pod thing Gana invented that would take us on a trip around Mars.

Oh, third trimester.  It's like a three month long acid trip.  If I could bottle or roll the essence of third trimester I could sell it on Venice Beach to all the hippies.

One time I dreamed that I gave birth to kittens.  A mean a whole litter!  And I was so stressed by that dream.  Not because I gave birth to another species, but because their mouths were so small I was concerned how I would be able to nurse them.

Another time I dreamed that Gana was going to die so before he did he was forcing me to marry this guy from our church so I wouldn't be alone.  He made him move in and everything.  I woke up so ticked at Gana.

About two weeks before Saraa was born.

Maybe I need to lay off the bedtime snack.

But, there lies another thing about this third trimester.  I'm starving.  I mean, if I'm not eating, I'm feeling faint.  But the tricky thing is what to eat.  It's either love or hate when it comes to food.  I'm gobbling it up or it's making me feel nauseated.

Again before Saraa was born.  My belly doubles as a table.

But that decision isn't nearly so difficult as what to wear!  Those liars that sell maternity clothes say, "Buy the same size in maternity as you would non-maternity.  If you are a small when you are non-pregnant, buy the small maternity."  Baloney.  I'm a non-maternity small.  On Sunday I put on a dress that was 3XL.  It was too tight.  I'm one step away from wearing a bed sheet.  And it's not just deciding what to wear out--it's getting the clothes on.  If it's pants (or even underwear) I feel like I have to be a contortionist.  I've completely given up shoes that require lacing or buckling and am living in a pair of ballet flats that are two sizes bigger than my normal size.  But they're getting tight.  And then someone has the nerve to say, "You carry all in front. You look the same everywhere else."

"Oh really?" I think as my socks cut off the circulation to my ankles.

And baby makes six.  Before Saraa was born my sister bought me some really big pajamas.

Not that the baby isn't out in front, because he/she really is.  The other day I was at the park watching Lucas play baseball and I laid down in the shade.  Got stuck there like a beetle on its back.  Seriously, it took me a good five minutes just to figure out how to roll over and get up.  Between my laughing and my groaning I'm sure I looked like a crazy person.  I should be good at it by now.  I go through it a dozen times a night.  Like rolling a beached whale back into the ocean.  It takes a lot of heaving and pushing.

And yet, I am not ready to have this baby just yet.  A combination of factors really.  One, it's too hot right now.  Yesterday it was about 104F or something.  I do not want to labor when it's that hot.  It's enough work in this heat to sit on my duff and blog.  Anything more strenuous than that needs to wait until the temps are not in triple digits.  Two, I need to finish organizing my school room.  If I go into labor now that school room is never going to be organized.  Three, my mommy has a lot going on right now and has a cold.  So, I need her to be all healed up so she can come care for me.

Plus, I like being pregnant.  I know right?  What about all the trippy dreams and having nothing to wear and all that.  OK, so all that is on one side of the scale.  Pretty heavy.  However, on the other side is the fact that I have a BABY--a living, moving, person bearing the image of God--INSIDE ME!  With God's help I'm growing an eternal being!  I'm like an artist for a few months!  How cool is that?!  I get to protect and provide for this one.  I get to feel this one move and kick.  And someday--soon, but not too soon--I'm going to help God bring this eternal being into his or her temporary home on earth.  It boggles the mind.  Put that on the other side of the scale and all my third trimester woes don't seem so bad.  I mean, no one said being a creative artist was easy.

So, I'm going to go sit in front of the fan and have my children fetch me things today and dream about this weekend when the temps drop to double digits.  And I'll read and pray and check my email about a dozen times.  And maybe I'll call up my pastor's daughter and see if she's dating anyone famous.

Empowered Birth Week: Begin With Empowered Pregnancy!

Pregnancy should be a time of joy and love and grace and a distinct conviction that you are partnering with the Divine!  Sure, pregnancy has its challenges--morning sickness, swollen ankles, heartburn, fatigue--but the fact that you are co-creating with the Creator should help take it all in stride.

It's been warm lately.  Like really warm.  And I've had lots of pre-labor stuff going on (which could go on for weeks, so I'm not timing these contractions or anything).  And so I've been a bit of a whiner--at least to my own ears.

But, actually, I do enjoy being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move.  I love having conversations with my belly.  I love the extra attention from my Gana.  :-)  I even don't mind the weight gain.  Pregnancy is the only time I've got dumps like a truck, truck, truck.

I really think that women in pregnancy should be encouraged to follow their instincts and to enjoy the season.  Rather than worrying about every. little. thing.  I feel so badly when friends or clients spend this joyous season worried about what to eat and what not to eat, every imaginable test from the doctor (even if they have no risk factors for what is being tested), due dates being changed with each monthly ultrasound, etc.

It should just not be so complicated.  We've been reproducing for thousands of years before the advent of all our interventions and before researchers were telling you exactly how many grams of caffeine you can safely ingest in pregnancy.

I'm not saying don't eat well or visit your doctor.  But, don't let the worries and concerns about the perfect pregnancy make it a less than blissful season for you!

Rest assured that your body KNOWS how to grow that baby.  God has gifted your body with the mad skillz to grow a baby, a placenta, produce colostrum and milk.  Your body is incredible!

When you believe in your body (and the One who created it!) and are joyful in pregnancy, you will empower others to feel the same!

(Don't forget to link up with your birth stories or pictures!  Here.)

(All photos taken by Cory Plowman Photography.)

Deep Philosophical Differences--UPDATED

Today I read in a Baby Center newsletter, supposedly tailored to my 28th week of pregnancy, "expert opinions" in response to this question:

How Do You Feel About Birth Plans?

Erica Breneman
Obstetrician in Oakland, California, and mother of one

I'm not a big fan of birth plans because I think they're often too detailed and specific about things that are unpredictable. However, I do think it's a good idea for women to discuss their wishes with their providers before delivery. A birth plan might facilitate this discussion. It's certainly reasonable to bring a brief written description of your general birth philosophy and wishes to the hospital so that on-call doctors and nurses who haven't met you get a sense of your desires.

MaryJane Lewitt
Certified Nurse-Midwife in Atlanta, Georgia, and mother of two

I love birth plans. They help me understand what you want from your birth and what your perfect delivery would be like. Every person is different and has different needs, wants, and expectations for their birth experience. A birth plan allows me to start assisting you with your birth without having to quiz you about your desires while you're in pain. Also, if things happen during labor that result in changes from your plan, I can provide options that keep us as close to your ideal birth as possible.

Samantha Maplethorpe
Family Physician in Issaquah, Washington, and mother of three

I like birth plans very much. They're wonderful communication tools. I usually suggest that my patients attend a labor education and support class for first-time parents and develop a birth plan around the beginning of the third trimester. This gives us enough time to discuss the plan and for patients to modify their expectations if need be. I try to tailor my supervision of pregnancy and labor and delivery to the style of the new parents. I usually send a copy of the birth plan to the hospital for inclusion in a patient's chart so the nurses can read it, but patients shouldn't assume it has been read. My only tip is to prepare for the unexpected and be flexible to any necessary change at delivery.

Notice that the family practitioner and the midwife like birth plans because birth plans help them better serve their clients.  Notice that the obstetrician doesn't like birth plans because they are too specific about what the client wants. 
 
Ummmmmm..........
 
Who here still thinks a surgeon is the best person to help you achieve the kind of natural and empowering birth experience you want?  Anyone???? 

Why Homebirth?

We are planning a homebirth--our seventh homebirth.  All of my kids have been welcomed in the comforts of their own home--except for two who were welcomed in the comforts of my parents' home.

I have loved every one of my births.  They have been lovely and healthy and safe and when all is said and done I'm at home recovering in my own bed,  tended to by my husband, mother and sister.

Read an article today about how homebirth is on the rise in the United States.  According to this article the rate of homebirth is up 20 percent since 2004!

The author of the article makes her own case as to the reason for its increase: hippies being counter-cultural, women wanting freedom of movement and decision making during labor, concerns over an unnecessarily high c-section rate in the U.S., backlash against bad hospital experience(s), it's cheaper, and it's the hip thing to do after documentaries and Discovery Health specials.  Some of these supposed "reasons" I personally find insulting.  Do you really think I choose homebirth simply to save money or because I want to be counter-cultural?  Seriously?

But the reason that chapped my booty the most is this one (a direct quote from the article): "Some doctors also question whether a "feminist machoism" is at play in wanting to give birth at home."

When I read that I did a mental double take.  What sort of sexist idea is that?!  By birthing at home I'm just trying to prove how tough I am?  That I'm as macho as any dude out there?  Give me a break!

I remember my mom telling the story of when she was in labor with my sister the doctor suggested medication (she had already had two unmedicated natural births), "You don't have to prove that you are brave."  Want to instantly make a laboring woman mad?  Suggest she's going through this for no reason at all or for a reason that is stupid.  Oh yeah, we love it when people do that.

No woman I know who is trying to labor naturally at home or in a hospital is doing it to prove she's brave.  We've got nothing to prove.  The vast majority of homebirth mamas I know are highly educated, have researched their midwife (or lack thereof) thoroughly, have read more books on birth and labor than most OB's probably realize exist, and have taken more than one childbirth class.  The vast majority of mamas I know who choose homebirth have a supportive partner who is (almost) as educated on the choice as she is, having read many of the books she has conveniently lying about and has attended all those childbirth classes with her!  Most homebirth daddies I know can argue and debate homebirth with anyone and hold their ground.  And if you were to gather up all these homebirth couples together and ask them why they are doing this instead of just checking themselves into the local hospital, I don't think one of them would say that they want to prove that it can be done. 

Like all choices we make as parents (to vaccinate or not to vaccinate, to co-sleep or not to co-sleep, when to introduce solids, etc.) we are choosing homebirth because we genuinely believe that it is what is best for our baby and our family.  And I make no judgements on whether it would be the best choice for your baby and your family.  We've made this choice seven times because we believe that it is healthier for Mama, Baby and the whole family--both physically, mentally and spiritually.

Not trying to save money.

Not trying to be hip nor countercultural.

Not trying to mimic some lady I saw on Discovery Health.

Not trying to be brave.

Nothing to prove.

Just making the best informed decision we can given all the factors of our life, health, and own family culture.