Words (not) To Live By

Maybe this is a little rant.  Maybe it's a commentary on how ridiculous and unthinking we have become as a people.  At any rate, here's the thing, everyday when I get on Facebook or Pinterest people have "clever" little signs posted.  You know, those inspirational words to live by.  They might look nice--have a cool font and/or graphic.  Perhaps it is the visual appeal that makes people think that the words are actually wise.  (Hmmmmm, that's something to think about.  How easily we are deceived into thinking someone is right or wise simply because they are articulate or interesting.)

So, let's get something straight: Popular is not synonymous with wise.  Interesting is not the same as smart.  Good feelings are no substitute for right living.

What bugs me the most is when Christian people--who seriously ought to know better--post these things.  Where do we get our ideas?  From the Bible or from pop culture???  If we internalize any of these very flawed ideas, it is no wonder we reap a bunch of drama and turmoil!

Here in no particular order are ridiculous things friends have posted to Facebook or Pinterest:

Things don't just work sort of magically.  What in the world gave us this idea?  Everything that works--being it your job or your marriage or your relationship with your children is because there is a lot of blood, sweat and tears invested in it!  The philosophy above can really cause us to take no personal responsibility for the failures of our relationships.  What a passive and unhelpful way to live your life!  

Let me give it to you straight: Jesus has already come to earth and gone back to heaven.  Any expectation you have from another person for perfection is completely misplaced.  Whoever you marry, you marry a sinner.  And so do they.  

We live in a very odd point in history as far as relationships go.  In the past women were content to find a husband who would be faithful and provide an income.  Feelings of over-the-moon-love weren't necessarily even a requirement.  Sometimes love grew from the seeds of choice and faithfulness.  Men were content to find a wife who could tend a home well and would be his partner in having children.  "Chemistry" wasn't necessarily a requirement.  People often chose to love the one they married rather than the other way around. 

These days we expect to be with someone who is beautiful and "hot" to whom we are sexually attracted.  This person must be well-employed, but their job must not infringe on any of our plans.  They must not have any emotional baggage that might require us to be patient, forgiving and move any mountains.  They must be there when we need them and meet all our needs, without being too needy themselves.  We must have the same interests and hobbies and the same political views.  To boot, they must also agree theologically with us on every point.  This person will never make us cry, never cause us to swear and never doubt their love for us or ours for them.  In addition, there must be "timing" meaning that they must come into our lives in such a way that it is perfect for us to be together and neither of us will have to sacrifice anything that would cost us a moment of discomfort.  This person will be Christlike but not require that we become Christlike in return.

Can we get a little wake-up call?  This person does not exist.  Marriage is the union of two good forgivers who agree to do life together--even when it hurts and you second guess your choice.  Marriage is where you dig your heels in and make a daily choice to love--even when the other is being unlovable.  Marriage is when you admit you are unlovable at times, but the covenant of marriage allows for personal growth and healing along the way.

What makes me happy is to sit in my pajamas all day, eating chocolate gelatto and reading novels.  What makes me happy is not the best.  What is best is for me to daily lay down my life for my family.  And that will, in the end, make me happy.

Start with happiness and the world will be very unhappy indeed. Start with what is right and the world will become a much happier place.

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think...."  Seriously?  Too many people take the advice on this post-it note.  In fact, I think it's become some people's political platform.

Rather, how about we get the mind of Christ and use that mind to think God-thoughts!  Let this mind be in you that is also in Christ Jesus!  (Philippians 2:5) 

Again with the passivity!!!  As if we have no control whatsoever over what we think and feel.  But that's not what the Bible says!  2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  You have a choice everyday, every minute of every day, what you allow to take up space in your thoughts and spirit.  Evict anything that doesn't obey Christ.

This one might take the cake!  How about respecting others enough to know that the world does not revolve around you and your feelings of happiness!  Respect yourself enough to do what is right--even when it hurts! Psalm 15, commit it to memory:

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.

Hebrews 12:4, "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood."  Keep fighting.

This says that my commitment is contingent on your behavior.  Might be fine for a business arrangement, but this concept has no place in a Christian marriage.  We have to do what is right, regardless of whether those around us choose to.

OK, my last piece of advice is this: please!  For the sake of rational thought, stop posting things that are.....so.....unlovely.  

"Whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."  Philippians 4:8

Random thoughts on the election and the state of the country....

Rich Mullins said, "I think the big problem is that, as Christians, we forgot that our identity is wrapped up in Christ and for a long time we bought into the illusion that the will of the masses would be more generous and more benevolent than the will of one dictator. But democracy isn't necessarily bad politics, its just bad math. A thousand corrupt minds are just as evil as one corrupt mind."

GK Chesterton said, "Now, I have not lost my ideals in the least; my faith in fundamentals is exactly what it always was. What I have lost is my old childlike faith in practical politics. I am still as much concerned as ever about the Battle of Armageddon; but I am not so much concerned about the General Election. As a babe I leapt up on my mother's knee at the mere mention of it. No; the vision is always solid and reliable. The vision is always a fact. It is the reality that is often a fraud."

My daughter Meg prayed, "God, thank You that we live in America and that we don't have a king. But, if we keep going the way we are going, we will have one. So, help us to change our ways so we can stay free and be a light to the world and a refuge to people around the world who need a safe place to be...."

Have mercy on us, O God, according to Your loving-kindness, according to the multitude of your tender mercies....

The Necessities Are Optional

This post is not to make anyone feel guilty if you use any of these things.  It's merely to call into question their necessity.  In our society we've say we "need" a lot of things.  In reality, most of the things we think we need are actually just wants based on clever marketing by companies who have a financial stake in making you feel helpless without this stuff or making you doubt your standard of living if you don't use this stuff.  If you want to use things, that's fine, as long as you can afford it.  But, let's be honest--they're luxuries.

As Dr. Sheldon Cooper would say, "We have to take in nourishment, to expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying.  Everything else in optional."

Here are a few random things we've labeled as optional:

We have seven kids and no paper towels.

Never purchased baby food.  Ever.

Baby wipes.
Old receiving blankets cut into wipe sizes and wet with regular water: works just fine.

I think I have one up in the cupboard somewhere.  Can't recall it ever being used.

Breast pump.

Gana has one for work.  I do not.

We have one that is in several pieces in the garage.  "Just in case."

I use them when we are camping sometimes.  Otherwise,  it's cloth.

Cable TV or Satellite.  We have never purchased TV reception.  

We take turns washing and drying the dishes by hand.

Haven't used the dryer in over 2 years.

TMI?

Stroller.  We have one, but don't consider it a necessity.

Good old fashioned handkerchief anyone?

We eat cold cereal sometimes for when we are camping.

Been making our own laundry soap for two years.  Have spent about $10.

We don't have health insurance.
Then again, we don't usually see doctors.

I think people would be surprised by how much little money we make, yet it is possible only because of how little money we spend.

I've been reading Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes and it's been rocking my world.  Here's what is inspiring these posts:

"A women's place in the workforce has become the norm in the last fifty years, the American household has changes to accommodate the shift.  Agriculture rapidly industrialized  and generated highly processed foods that supplanted most home cooking; skills were replaced with products, thrift with income, and time with convenience.  As the home became increasingly devoid of enterprise and creativity, few could blame women for fleeing the hearth.  However, during the same fifty years, our health, happiness and well-being have also dramatically declined.  The abandonment of the kitchen, the loss of personal finance skills despite rising household incomes, the relentless increase in busy-ness and the compulsion to replace emptiness and loneliness with consumer products have put us on course for an ecological, social and cultural train wreck....And above all, [Radical Homemakers] were fearless.  They did not let themselves be bullies by the conventional ideals regarding money, status, or material possessions.  These families did not see their homes as a refuge from the world.  Rather, each home was the center for social change, the starting point from which a better life would rippled out for everyone....

"More than simply soccer moms, Radical Homemakers are men and women who have chosen to make family, community, social justice and the health of the planet the governing principles of their lives.  They reject any form of labor or the expenditure of any resource that does not honor these tenets.  For about five thousand years, our culture has been hostage to a form of organization by domination that fails to honor our living systems, where "he who holds the gold makes the rules."  By contrast, Radical Homemakers use life skills and relationships as a replacement for gold, on the premise that he or she who doesn't need the gold can change the rules.  The greater our domestic skills, be they to plant a garden, grow tomatoes on an apartment balcony, mend a shirt, repair an appliance, provide for our own entertainment, cook and preserve a local harvest or care for our children and loved ones, the less dependent we are on the gold."

What things do you consider optional? 

Can I quote you on that?

In response to this article: Couple Finally Reveals Child's Gender Five Years After Birth, my sister said,

"Life is just too short to be that stupid."

You better be grateful

I'm reading Gulliver's Travels to Lucas.  I stumbled across this quote, which I thought was an appropriate meditation with Thanksgiving just around the corner:

"Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries; for they reason thus, that whoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he hath received no obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live."  --Gulliver's Travels

C.S. Lewis on Public Education

[When I stumbled across the following passages in my late night reading, I found them very amusing.  I actually laughed out loud!  Perhaps you will, too.  If not, take it up with C.S. Lewis.  I didn't write it.]

C.S. Lewis wrote in "Surprised by Joy", which chronicles how he became an atheist, about his school life:

I think that this feigning, this ceaseless pretense of interest in matters to me supremely boring, was what wore me out more than anything else.  If the reader will picture himself, unarmed, shut up for thirteen weeks on end, night and day, in a society of fanatical golfers--or, if he is a golfer himself, let him substitute fishermen, theosophists, bimetallists, Baconians, or German undergraduates with a taste for autobiography--who all carry revolvers and will probably shoot him if he ever seems to lose interest in the conversation, he will have an idea of my school life.  Even the hardy Chowbok (in Erewhon) quailed at such a destiny.  For games (and gallantry) were the only subjects, and I cared for neither.  But I must seem to care for both, for a boy goes to a Public School precisely to be made a normal, sensible boy--a good mixer--to be taken out of himself; and eccentricity is severely penalized....


....I write, of course, only to neutral readers.  With wholehearted adherents of the system there is no arguing, for, as we have already seen, they have maxims and logic which the lay mind cannot apprehend.  I have even heard them defend compulsory games on the ground that all the boys "except a few rotters" like the games; they have to be compulsory because no compulsion is needed....But the essential evil of public-school life, as I see it, did not lie either in the suffering of [unpopular boys] or in the privileged arrogance of the [popular boys].  These were symptoms of something more all-pervasive, something which, in the long run, did most harm to the boys who succeeded best at school and were happiest there.  Spiritually speaking, the deadly thing was that school life was a life almost wholly dominated by the social struggle; to get on, to arrive, or, having reached the top, to remain there, was the absorbing preoccupation.  It is often, of course, the preoccupation of adult life as well; but I have no yet seen any adult in society in which the surrender to this impulse was so total.  And from it, at school, as in the world, all sorts of meanness flow; the sycophancy that courts those higher in the scale, the cultivation of those whom it is well to know, the speedy abandonment of friendships that will not help on the upward path, the readiness to join the cry against the unpopular, the secret motive in almost every action.  --C.S. Lewis in Surprised By Joy, The Shape of My Early Life


One more:

....The greatest service we can do to education today is teach fewer subjects.  No one has time to do more than a very few things well before he is twenty, and when we force a boy to be a mediocrity in a dozen subjects we destroy his standards, perhaps for life.  --C.S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy, The Shape of My Early Life

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Before the days when people were worried that they were still carrying around a first generation iphone (oh the horrors) or whether or not their car had an ipod docking station or whether or not their laptop was paper thin and touch screen, people were being sucked into a consumer driven lifestyle.

Maybe the good ol' days weren't as idyllic as we've imagined.

Economist and retail analyst, Victor Lebow, wrote in 1955:

Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfactions, our ego satisfactions, in consumption.  The measure of social status, of social acceptance, of prestige, is now to be found in our consumptive patterns.  The very meaning and significance of our lives today is expressed in consumptive terms....We need things consumed, burned up, worn out, replaced, and discarded at an ever-increasing pace.  We need to have people eat, drink, dress, ride, live with ever more complicated and, therefore, constantly more expensive consumption.

That which has been is what will be,

That which is done is what will be done,

And there is nothing new under the sun. 

Ecc. 1:9

My Eschatological Position

In one sentence:

"There's a big difference between being rescued and being picked up for your wedding!"

--Bill Johnson

On the second day of Christmas.....

....two Turtle Doves.


May you know the Greatest Story, God's revelation of Himself through His Word.

Captain worshiping

From the late Rich Mullins:

"The Bible is a very great book.  It is the written witness to God's revelation of Himself in His Word: Jesus Christ.  And, if you like, you can make a great deal of it.

You can speculate about it: This will make you a philosopher and people will think you are deep and very smart.

You can pontificate in view of it: This will make you a preacher and people will marvel at your courage and gift for oratory.

You can adulate it: This will make you its No. 1 fan.  You can display your very fine collection of its various versions all over your house.

You can attack it: This will make you a skeptic and people will admire your honest, blind determination to live in your grim, faithless little world.

You can adapt it: This will make you a youth pastor or a Christian musician or a feminist theologian or a popular author.  You, too, can be the icing on a cake.

You can systemize it: This will make you a theologian and people will quote you and regard those quotes as some sort of authority.

You can criticize it: This will make you a  scholar--and those who are not put off by your eggheadedness will confer on you M.A.s and D.D.s.

You can theorize about it: This will make you an expert in biblical slants on contemporary issues like political science, psychology, church grown economics, sex and marriage.

You can ponder it: This will make you a mystic and people will turn to you for spiritual advice (and from you when they get it).

You can practice it: This will make you a model citizen--a fair, generous, and righteous (if somewhat uptight) person.

Of course, what we make of the Bible will never be as great a thing as what the Bible will--if we let it--make of us.  For that which is born of the flesh--our human understanding and handlings--is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit--God's revelation of Himself and the power of that revelation to enliven us--is spirit.  The will of man will not ultimately prevail against the will of God.  It is the will of God that we should know Him as He has revealed Himself and that will has not only survived the arrogant attacks of the scientific and "enlightened" men, it has (even more miraculously) thrived in spite of our best intended, though sadly misguided, attempts at "rightly dividing" that seamless rode of revelation.

So, let us press on with no faith in our own understanding and nothing but faith in the Truth that is too great to be diminished by our feeble minds and too great to not transform us.  Salvation comes from God, not from our cleverness.  The Bible is a very great book.  Let us submit to it so God may do the great work of making us into a great people."

Our neighbors are in the Christmas Spirit!

These are our neighbors!  They started decorating on Halloween and finished by the first of December!  In addition to their breathtaking display they also decorated the yards of several neighbors who are Christmas-light challenged, including our house!  Although ours is definitely not as cool as theirs(!) we are grateful that our house looks Christmas-y!

When my sister saw the display she said, "You are so lucky!  I wish we had crazy neighbors!"



I hope all our readers are enjoying this week with their families with their Christmas shopping done and some cider simmering in the crockpot.  May your ovens be producing cookies and gingerbread, may your stereos be set to Christmas music.  May you have strategically placed mistletoe and ugly Christmas sweaters!  May you eat more than your share of chocolate and only the best bourbon soaked fruitcake.  May you sip mulled wine with your sweetheart while you watch It's A Wonderful Life and sleep late under extra quilts.  May carolers stop at your house and may you get a Christmas card from a long lost friend.  May your children still pretend to believe in Santa Claus and may you all stand in awe in front of a creche.  May you attend a midnight mass or Christmas Eve service and sing Silent Night.

Once a year the Christmas season strikes both the sacred and the secular spheres of life with sledgehammer force: suddenly Jesus Christ is everywhere.  For approximately one month His presence is inescapable.  You may accept Him or reject Him, affirm Him or deny Him, but you cannot ignore Him.  Of course He is proclaimed in speech, song, and symbol in all the Christian churches.  But He rides every red-nosed reindeer, lurks behind every Cabbage Patch doll, resonates in the most desacralized "season's greetings."  Remotely or proximately, He is toasted in every cup of Christmas cheer.  Each sprig of holly is a hint of His holiness, each cluster of mistletoe a sign He is here.  --Brennan Manning

Do you want to be a fine lady or a pirate?

From Pippi Goes On Board, my children's book club selection for December:

After [Pippi's disgraceful showing at a school picnic], the teacher decided to have a little talk with Pippi about her behavior.  "Listen, little Pippi," she said in a friendly voice, "you want to be a really fine lady when you grow up, don't you?"


"You mean the kind with a veil on her nose and three double chins under it?" asked Pippi.


"I mean a lady who always knows how to behave and is always polite and well bred.  You want to be that kind of lady, don't you?"


"It's worth thinking about," said Pippi, "but you see, Teacher, I had just decided to be a pirate when I grow up."  She thought a while.  "But don't you think, Teacher, one could be a pirate and a really fine lady too?  Because then--"


The teacher didn't think one could.


"Oh, dear, oh, dear, which one shall I decide on?" said Pippi unhappily.


The teacher said that whatever Pippi decided to do when she grew up, it would not hurt her to learn how to behave--because Pippi's behavior at the table was really impossible.


"To think it should be so hard to know how to behave." Pippi sighed.  "Can't you tell me the most important rules?"


The teacher did the best she could, and Pippi listened attentively.  One mustn't help oneself until one was invited; one mustn't take more than one cake at at time; one mustn't eat with a knife; one mustn't scratch oneself while talking with other people; one mustn't do this and one mustn't do that.


Pippi nodded thoughtfully.  "I'll get up an hour earlier every morning and practice," she said, "so I'll get the hang of it in case I decide not to be a pirate."


Now the teacher said it was time to go home.  All the children stood in line except Pippi.  She sat still on the lawn with a tense face, as if she were listening to something.


"What's the matter, little Pippi?" asked the teacher.


"Teacher," asked Pippi, does a really fine lady's stomach ever rumble?"


She sat quiet, still listening.


"Because if it doesn't," she said at last, "I might just as well decide to be a pirate."

Reality Check

So, someone wrote the following on Pastor Bill Johnson's Facebook page:

"What's the difference between Truth and facts? Truth and reality? I'm not an optimist or a pessimist, I'm more of a realist. So explain to me what the difference is you beautiful people of God. And please, no lameness, I don't need "preaching" I need answers."

What was Bill's answer?

"You're a realist? Everyone is. Some are anchored in an inferior reality - one they can explain and in some measure control. Those who live by faith are also realists. They are just anchored in a world you cannot see, but is superior in every way to the natural. The Spiritual world is real. More so than the natural. Why? The unseen world is eternal. The physical world is temporal."

As Kris Vallotton would say, "That's a good word right there."

Perfect Paris Night - Perfect Paris Morning

The great thing about our vacation was the pace.  We didn't rush around trying to see everything.  That would be 1) impossible, 2) insane, and 3) exhausting.  We spent plenty of time just chilling and people watching and soaking in the culture.

After a morning of sightseeing, a picnic in the afternoon, an afternoon of wandering around, and delicious dinner there was nothing left to do but to find the perfect cafe.  So, we ended each night the same way:

Eat crêpes, drink coffee (Gana sipped hot Cognac), sit back for a few hours and just enjoy.  We are in Paris after all.  Time to savor the moment.

Crêpes sucrées with crème Chantilly.

The view from our table

After we were sufficiently relaxed we spent a little more time wandering around the City of Lights at night.  In the morning, we had breakfast at a cafe near our hotel.  Croissants and café crème.  A stroll in a book shop and then a little shopping for our picnic.

Bread and pastries

 Fresh fruit

Cheese heaven

Gana snapped this picture and then waited for me outside.  He couldn't handle the stench aroma.  I hardly knew what to get.  I wanted a wedge of everything!  Thankfully the shop keepers let you purchase small quantities, so I could choose several different things to try.

Forgive the long quote, but I simply adore it and can't decide how to edit it:

GK Chesterton on cheese, "My forthcoming work in five volumes, `The Neglect of Cheese in European Literature,' is a work of such unprecedented and laborious detail that it is doubtful whether I shall live to finish it. Some overflowings from such a fountain of information may therefore be permitted to springle these pages. I cannot yet wholly explain the neglect to which I refer. Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. Virgil, if I remember right, refers to it several times, but with too much Roman restraint. He does not let himself go on cheese. The only other poet that I can think of just now who seems to have had some sensibility on the point was the nameless author of the nursery rhyme which says: `If all the trees were bread and cheese' - which is indeed a rich and gigantic vision of the higher gluttony. If all the trees were bread and cheese there would be considerable deforestation in any part of England where I was living. Wild and wide woodlands would reel and fade before me as rapidly as they ran after Orpheus. Except Virgil and this anonymous rhymer, I can recall no verse about cheese. Yet it has every quality which we require in an exalted poetry. It is a short, strong word; it rhymes to `breeze' and `seas' (an essential point); that it is emphatic in sound is admitted even by the civilization of the modern cities. For their citizens, with no apparent intention except emphasis, will often say `Cheese it!' or even `Quite the cheese.' The substance itself is imaginative. It is ancient - sometimes in the individual case, always in the type and custom. It is simple, being directly derived from milk, which is one of the ancestral drinks, not lightly to be corrupted with soda-water. You know, I hope (though I myself have only just thought of it), that the four rivers of Eden were milk, water, wine, and ale. Aerated waters only appeared after the Fall.


"But cheese has another quality, which is also the very soul of song. Once in endeavouring to lecture in several places at once, I made an eccentric journey across England, a journey of so irregular and even illogical shape that it necessitated my having lunch on four successive days in four roadside inns in four different counties. In each inn they had nothing but bread and cheese; nor can I imagine why a man should want more than bread and cheese, if he can get enough of it."

Entire passage, definitely worth the read, here.