Fear and Shame and the political divide

This is a post of political observations that will deal in generalities. So, please, spare me the anecdotes of cases where it doesn't hold true. Not hard fast rules, only observations about trends.

Both sides of the political divide, liberals and conservatives, claim moral superiority. And they go about trying to make converts by claiming that their side, and their side alone, takes the moral high road. The tools in this endeavor are fear and shame.

Example #1: Immigration.

Conservatives employ fear in order to control perceptions. If we are afraid of foreigners, we will reject them and protect ourselves. We'll be safer if we are more fearful. Such as this, now famous meme:

(I like this line from the movie The Tale of Despereaux, "Oh, Despereaux, this world is full of wonderful things to be afraid of, if only you realize how scary they are.")

Liberals employ shame to make people "do the right thing." The talking points create straw man arguments to make people feel badly for being heartless savages.  Religious people are at the top of that list. If you were truly a decent person you'd be more open, you jerk.

Example #2: Abortion.

Liberals employ fear. If pro-life legislation is passed, if a pro-life person is elected, if a pro-life judge takes the bench women will be victimized, there will be back-alley abortions and bleeding in the streets. Women will lose their autonomy and we'll all be relegated to being barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen again. 

On the flip side, Conservatives employ shame. Emotionally and morally charged language. Instead of women being victims and disenfranchised and scared and vulnerable, they are "mothers of a dead baby" and murders.

And the labels the groups are given are often, at least partially, misnomers. Pro-choicers are not pro-all-choices. Just check to see which democrats voted to take away the freedom of parents to choose whether or not their children are vaccinated. There's a serious war brewing in California as parental rights and choices are taken away by big brother. You can choose to have an abortion, but if that child is born alive you don't have a choice whether or not she gets the highly controversial Gardasil vaccine.

Pro-lifers are often not pro-all life (There are exceptions, such as socially active Roman Catholics.). Just look up which Republicans still support the death penalty. (see the UCSSB's pro-life prayer) Or the NIMB attitude as it applies to taking in refugees. (NIMB = not in my backyard) Sometimes pro-lifers are pro-birth or pro-some-life. It's a painful truth that we need to 'fess up to.

And you can see examples of this everywhere if you just take a moment to look at your Facebook or Twitter feed. Just today I logged in to see several of my friends post the same FB post that stated if you didn't join the "Women's March" you probably have never been the victim of a sexual crime, are not an ethnic minority, an immigrant or lack health insurance. Because if you have experienced any of these things, you'd support the march. Well, guess what? I have been a victim of sexual crime, I am an ethnic minority, my husband is an immigrant and I have actually never had health insurance in my life. I did not support the March. But, that's what I mean about claiming moral superiority. It's a false narrative. All the decent people on one side of the line and all the degenerate on the other.

I have found this past year that everyone wants to think that they take the high road and are open to people that are different than they are. Everyone wants to think they are comfortable with diversity.  It's always the other side of the aisle that is full of intolerant bigots. Until they encounter someone truly different, someone who doesn't support their pet causes, who does not see things the same way at all. Then the struggle gets real. I am no exception.

I have seen so many people this year unfriend and block people on social media or lash out at their neighbors that it breaks my heart. The media, the culture, the 24 hour news cycle perpetuates this fear and shame so that we feel quite justified in saying, "I'm done with you" as we paint with broad brushes and repost unnuanced memes and opinions. We feel vindicated to make "power of the people" to mean power against certain people.

But, what if....

What if we stopped using fear and shame as our primary motivators and the cornerstones of our arguments? What if when we encountered someone who is truly different we didn't shut them out, but we extended our hand instead? What if we could say, "You know, I don't see things that way, but I respect that you do. Would you like to discuss this sometime?" Make cookies. It always helps the awkwardness. 

The truth is that if we try to banish fear and shame there will be a vacuum. We have to replace it with something. 

I would suggest love and humility.

It's not easy. For anyone. And it's certainly not easy for me. I claim no moral superiority in this. To look into someone's eyes who not only is different but may be, in fact, antagonistic towards you and your way of life or deeply held beliefs, and to say, "I see in you someone made in the image of God and I choose to treat you according to that truth." Pour tea.  It helps the humble pie to go down easier.

I am not suggesting that you necessarily change your beliefs. I can tell you for certainty that you will not take my Christian faith from me. I am not just a Christian in name. It's part of my very DNA, I assure you. I am head over heels in love with Jesus. I can't turn it off. I broke off the switch long ago. But, I will share a meal with you and listen to you, even if you are Buddhist, Muslim, Atheist, or just plain not sure. My faith tells me that you are made in God's image and likeness, whether or not you acknowledge Him.

Humility goes a long way. St. John Chrysostom said, "Humility is the root, mother, nurse foundation and bond of all virtue." The book of 1 Peter in the Bible commands us to love each other deeply. Because love covers a multitude of sins.

Does walking in love mean that we never stand up for controversial causes or speak tough things? Of course not. Love must be tough as well as tender. But true love should give us the courage to carefully negotiate and live in the tension of truth and love. It's messy. It's painful at times. It's tricky. It's also beautiful. Speak the truth...in love.

As people of good will, can we move the cultural conversation from Us vs. Them to We Are All In This Together? Can we love through the differences and listen and speak up and be brave and be vulnerable and be true?

Fear and shame are motivators, but make a terrible foundation. Love and humility are really the only way.

Kadesh, Shechem, Hebron, Bezer, Ramoth, Golan, Christ

Been watching the Facebook feed and news on TV and if you didn't know any better you'd think:

1. There is no other news in the whole world aside from the Zimmerman trial.
2. Everyone on Facebook now has a law degree.
3. Christians have a lot of rage they need to deal with.

Calls for justice (and/or revenge) abound and even those of good Quaker stock are talking about the death penalty.  It's all an-eye-for-an-eye everywhere.  And now, as I type this, there are riots, vandalism and brutality happening, as well as a some peaceful protests.

Here's the thing, y'all, the heart of the Gospel is not that every man must pay for his sin.  At the heart of the Gospel is this completely unfair notion of grace.  It was prophetically built into the law from the beginning.  Even with the murderer Cain.  He was marked and no man was to touch him.  

The LORD replied, "No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you." Then the LORD put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. Genesis 4:15

If tit-for-tat were the nature of God, I think we could look to how God dealt with the first murderer as an indication of that.  But, rather, we see that God was full of grace even then.

When God gave Moses His law there were rules about what would happen if a man took another man's life by lying-in-wait and with intent to kill.  He would die, eventually.  It is the law of reaping and sowing and not necessarily the law of retaliation.  But, if two people got into it and someone lost their head, and someone died, the one who did the slaying had one recourse.  He could flee.  Flee to a city of refuge.

"Six of the towns you give the Levites will be cities of refuge, where a person who has accidentally killed someone can flee for safety."  Numbers 35:6

These cities, run by God's priests, were a prophetic picture of Christ and His Body.  God's people were not to merely cry out for retribution.  They were to provide a place of mercy.  

Let's face it.  We all need that place.  Jesus said that if you are angry with your brother without cause you are guilty of murder. (Matthew 5:22)  Today I've seen a lot of angry people.  Angry at the jury.  Angry at the one who pulled the gun.  Angry at those of a different race.  Angry at those of a different political party.  Angry at the police.  Angry, angry, angry.  And that pretty much puts us in Zimmerman's shoes and in equal need of God's mercy.

Yet, God has not called us to rant and threaten to move the Europe.  God has called us to be the ones who say to the guilty, "Run to us!  Find mercy!  Find shelter!  There is a place of refuge."

In the end, Jesus didn't come for the innocent.  Jesus came for the guilty.  If you feel that justice wasn't served, know this: Jesus came for the George Zimmermans of the world and not for the Trayvons.  That might rub you the wrong way.  That may offend your sense of justice.  Remember that Jesus is often offensive. 

"I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance..." Mark 2:17

He certainly is offensive, right up until that moment when you realize that you need Him to be your place of refuge.  When you come to the place where you think, "If He doesn't hide me, I will die."  And then Jesus' offensiveness becomes your best defense.

The Cities of Refuge in the Bible had specific names that spoke to specific traits of God:

Kadesh, meaning Righteousness

Shechem, meaning Shoulder

Hebron, meaning Fellowship

Bezer, meaning Fortress

Ramoth, meaning Exalted

Golan, meaning Joy

These are not just the nature of God.  These were cities, run by God's priests.  They speak to the six things, we, as God's people, have to offer the world, the guilty and to those in need of mercy.  If we don't have these six things to offer, what do we have?  As humans are sympathies are with the innocent.  As Christians, our reach extends to the guilty.

So, while you are chanting (or tweeting or Facebooking), "Justice for Trayvon" and "No Justice; No Peace!" and "If you're not for us, you're against us."  Perhaps think about the call to say: 

Righteousness for the guilty, of whom I am chief.

Zimmerman, do you need a shoulder? He cares for you.

No matter what you've done, we offer you fellowship.

Zimmermans of the world, do you need a safe place?

God will be exalted through every life that takes shelter in His house.

God can and will turn ashes into beauty and give you the oil of joy for your spirit of heaviness.

Christians, remember that the grace and forgiveness you give out is the grace and forgiveness you will receive.  Jesus, out of His great love, died for the guilty.  I don't know about you, but I think we should put down our stones and accept some of that love for ourselves and share a little with a world full of Zimmermans.

On the 12th Day of Christmas....The Messiah Who Disappoints

"In choosing to be born in utter obscurity, the King of the universe ignored conventional expectations. He celebrated in His own birthday the freedom to be unorthodox. In failing to live up to people's presuppositions ("From Nazareth?" ask Nathanael, "Can anything good come from that place?") Jesus became a stumbling block to many of his contemporaries. The housebroken Jewish imagination cringed at the crib, shuddered at the ersatz salvation of a humble unpredictable God. A King in rags was an insult to the finely honed intellect of the Pharisee and the rational mind of the scribe. Simpleminded shepherds and the rabble who did not know the Law might be hoodwinked, but those who studied the Scripture could not be deceived. There is a fascinating principle at work here in very religious people: 'Messiah, You get our allegiance only when You fulfill our expectations.'"

Do you not just find it amazing that God feels no obligation to meet your expectations? He's not just free to surpass them; He is completely unfettered by them.

"In making decisions, Jesus was called in freedom to ask first not what the Law says but what would the Father have Him do. A free life is often unconventional and surprising because it is available to those creative possibilities and innovative gestures that have been screened out of consideration by standards of acceptable behavior. In opting to celebrate His birthday in Bethlehem in such low-key fashion, Jesus revealed himself free from public opinion, from fear of what others might say or think. Jesus is the incarnation of the Father's freedom."

(From Lion and Lamb, The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Father Brennan Manning)

Theology 101: Belgee breakin' it down

Saraa (4): I love Jesus!  And I love the angels!  And I love everyone in the whole world!

Belgee (5): That's good.  Jesus says we have to love even our enemies.  But, He didn't mean like the devil and stuff.  He meant like pick-pockets.

Words (not) To Live By

Maybe this is a little rant.  Maybe it's a commentary on how ridiculous and unthinking we have become as a people.  At any rate, here's the thing, everyday when I get on Facebook or Pinterest people have "clever" little signs posted.  You know, those inspirational words to live by.  They might look nice--have a cool font and/or graphic.  Perhaps it is the visual appeal that makes people think that the words are actually wise.  (Hmmmmm, that's something to think about.  How easily we are deceived into thinking someone is right or wise simply because they are articulate or interesting.)

So, let's get something straight: Popular is not synonymous with wise.  Interesting is not the same as smart.  Good feelings are no substitute for right living.

What bugs me the most is when Christian people--who seriously ought to know better--post these things.  Where do we get our ideas?  From the Bible or from pop culture???  If we internalize any of these very flawed ideas, it is no wonder we reap a bunch of drama and turmoil!

Here in no particular order are ridiculous things friends have posted to Facebook or Pinterest:

Things don't just work sort of magically.  What in the world gave us this idea?  Everything that works--being it your job or your marriage or your relationship with your children is because there is a lot of blood, sweat and tears invested in it!  The philosophy above can really cause us to take no personal responsibility for the failures of our relationships.  What a passive and unhelpful way to live your life!  

Let me give it to you straight: Jesus has already come to earth and gone back to heaven.  Any expectation you have from another person for perfection is completely misplaced.  Whoever you marry, you marry a sinner.  And so do they.  

We live in a very odd point in history as far as relationships go.  In the past women were content to find a husband who would be faithful and provide an income.  Feelings of over-the-moon-love weren't necessarily even a requirement.  Sometimes love grew from the seeds of choice and faithfulness.  Men were content to find a wife who could tend a home well and would be his partner in having children.  "Chemistry" wasn't necessarily a requirement.  People often chose to love the one they married rather than the other way around. 

These days we expect to be with someone who is beautiful and "hot" to whom we are sexually attracted.  This person must be well-employed, but their job must not infringe on any of our plans.  They must not have any emotional baggage that might require us to be patient, forgiving and move any mountains.  They must be there when we need them and meet all our needs, without being too needy themselves.  We must have the same interests and hobbies and the same political views.  To boot, they must also agree theologically with us on every point.  This person will never make us cry, never cause us to swear and never doubt their love for us or ours for them.  In addition, there must be "timing" meaning that they must come into our lives in such a way that it is perfect for us to be together and neither of us will have to sacrifice anything that would cost us a moment of discomfort.  This person will be Christlike but not require that we become Christlike in return.

Can we get a little wake-up call?  This person does not exist.  Marriage is the union of two good forgivers who agree to do life together--even when it hurts and you second guess your choice.  Marriage is where you dig your heels in and make a daily choice to love--even when the other is being unlovable.  Marriage is when you admit you are unlovable at times, but the covenant of marriage allows for personal growth and healing along the way.

What makes me happy is to sit in my pajamas all day, eating chocolate gelatto and reading novels.  What makes me happy is not the best.  What is best is for me to daily lay down my life for my family.  And that will, in the end, make me happy.

Start with happiness and the world will be very unhappy indeed. Start with what is right and the world will become a much happier place.

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think...."  Seriously?  Too many people take the advice on this post-it note.  In fact, I think it's become some people's political platform.

Rather, how about we get the mind of Christ and use that mind to think God-thoughts!  Let this mind be in you that is also in Christ Jesus!  (Philippians 2:5) 

Again with the passivity!!!  As if we have no control whatsoever over what we think and feel.  But that's not what the Bible says!  2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  You have a choice everyday, every minute of every day, what you allow to take up space in your thoughts and spirit.  Evict anything that doesn't obey Christ.

This one might take the cake!  How about respecting others enough to know that the world does not revolve around you and your feelings of happiness!  Respect yourself enough to do what is right--even when it hurts! Psalm 15, commit it to memory:

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.

Hebrews 12:4, "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood."  Keep fighting.

This says that my commitment is contingent on your behavior.  Might be fine for a business arrangement, but this concept has no place in a Christian marriage.  We have to do what is right, regardless of whether those around us choose to.

OK, my last piece of advice is this: please!  For the sake of rational thought, stop posting things that are.....so.....unlovely.  

"Whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."  Philippians 4:8

Weighing The Words

(Fair warning: this post may only make sense to a small portion of my audience who are flowing in the same "stream" I am.  Yet, I'm going to post it anyway.)

 "For we know in part and we prophesy in part...."  I Corinthians 13:9

God is so good.  He really is.  The longer I walk with Him the more I am convinced that He wants the best for me.  He's so tender toward me.  It is His goodness that leads us to repentance.  (Romans 2:4)  He knows my weaknesses and He knows how to communicate with me in ways I can understand.  I love that about Him.  Of course He would know how, after all, He made me, loves me, and knows me.


Recently I received a word of "prophecy" that was sort of scathing.  Taking into account that I am overly-sensitive to criticism, I tried to evaluate it objectively.  I am my own worst critic in so many ways.  Yet, it just didn't....jive.  (You could say it didn't "bear witness with my spirit.")  So, I submitted it to those to whom I'm accountable and spiritually aligned.  Not only did it not "jive" with them, they outright rejected it and told me to do the same.


Yet, it was working against my peace.  Try as I might I couldn't let it go.  I was....disturbed.

"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.  Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."  James 3:17-18

I know that if a word is truly from Him for me that it will be pure and peaceable and gentle, etc.  The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace.  And this word had disturbed me and made me fretful.  Not sown in peace, how could it be a fruit of righteousness?


Then came yesterday.  I had a SOZO-type healing session scheduled for yesterday before this other prophetic word arrived.  My counselor so lovingly dug to the roots of my heart.  We examined things, we pulled some stuff out.  I dealt with some things I'd been stuffing down.  Basically it was some good soul housekeeping.  We need that once in a while, don't we?!  At least I do!


In the course of the over 2 hour session a word came from the Lord that hit my heart like an arrow and then washed over me like a cleansing river.  Later I shared it with Gana.  What made it so remarkable and timely is that it was basically the exact opposite from the "prophecy" I had received recently that had disturbed me.  It was as if God was audibly telling me the exact opposite and undoing everything the enemy had tried to work in me.


I have felt such an overwhelming peace since then.  


Can I say it again?  God is so good.


Gana and I both agreed that I need to learn how not take every word, every criticism, every review, every person, every prophecy quite so deeply into my heart.  I need to learn to care less what everyone is going to think and feel about me, my family, my choices, my message and to be satisfied with the Father.  Jesus said that He only did what He saw the Father do.  He wasn't derailed by every wind of popular thought and criticism.  I need a healthy dose of that.  


Because, there will always be people who think you are doing it wrong.  There are always people who think you need to be doing something else, somewhere else or somehow else.  What each of us has to do is to find our acceptance and worth and satisfaction in the presence of God and in looking into His face.  Then, it doesn't matter so much the reaction of others.  That old "audience of one" thing.  You know?

Peace.

Hospitality

Last week I did a few interviews for EightM.  One of them was on the meaning and practice of hospitality.  Please ignore the completely crazy face in this still shot.  *ahem*

A Theology of Drink

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."  I Corinthians 10:31

I've been mulling this blog post over for about three years.  That's about as long as I've ever kept anything to myself.  Usually if I have the thought, "I should blog that" it happens with days--weeks at the most.  This one, I don't know, it just needed some real rumination first.


A little background: I grew up with total abstinence when it came to alcohol.  Wine, beer, liquor was never found in our house.  Everyone I knew was the same.  I didn't really grow up knowing anyone who drank alcohol.  In high school there was a group of lovely homemaking women (at the time they were friends of my mom and now I consider them dear friends myself) and we'd get together once a month and do things like learn to knit or make homemade pasta.  One month we studied herbal tinctures and decided to make some home remedies.  The recipe called for vodka in which to distill the herbs and bring out the healing properties.  There was an in-depth conversation about who would buy the booze.  Not one of us wanted to be seen holding vodka in the check-out line.


It's not that my parents ever taught that it was a sin to drink.  In fact, I remember them saying the opposite.  But, it's just something they never did.  It wasn't how either of them were raised.  They both came up in wonderful Pentecostal churches where there was a big emphasis on holiness.  Being pastors they never wanted to cause someone else to stumble and they both have a real call to holiness on their lives.  (Yes, we are all called to holiness, but there are those that God sets aside at different standards than others--such as Nazarites in the Bible.)  My dad was always clear that it was a sin to be drunk, but not necessarily a sin to drink.  However, one should obey whatever the inward witness of the Holy Spirit tells them, even if it goes a little higher than other people's standards.  My parents always taught us to raise the standard in our lives and not to succumb to the things of this world.  I will forever be grateful for this foundation.


But, my theology of drinking, or abstinence as it were, did not come wholly from my parents.  I heard it other places simply because I grew up in a conservative church culture. 

For my 21st birthday, my brother gave me a small bottle of champagne.  Honestly, it was sort of a joke.  I just tucked it away.  When I got married six months later, Gana and I shared it on our honeymoon--mixed with some juice.


From that point on we would very occasionally have a little drink--like on our anniversary or once I stuck a single beer in Gana's Christmas stocking.  Somehow, though, I hadn't quite reconciled the thing inside me.  Was it OK?  Was it not OK?  How much of what I was feeling was genuinely the Holy Spirit's conviction and what was simply embedded cultural theology?  So, I stopped even the occasional drink until I figured it out.  I started digging deeper.


What Does The Bible Say?


The Bible references wine 228 times and strong drink 19 times.  And not all those references are negative.  In fact, quite the opposite.

Category	Wine	Strong Drink
Use accepted as normal part of culture	58	1
Symbolic (The wine of his wrath, etc.)	32	1
Wine called a blessing from God	27	0
Use in offerings and sacrifices	24	1
Loss of wine an example of a curse from God	19	1
Examples of abuse of alcohol	16	3
Vows of abstinence	15	6
Warnings against abuse	13	4
Gifts between people	9	0
Comparisons (x is better than wine)	5	0
False accusations of drunkenness	3	1
Rules for selecting deacons	3	0
Miscellaneous	3	1
Abstinence in deference to weak consciences	1	0
Total	228	19

(H/T Chet Day. Source for chart here.)

The negative references to alcohol in the Bible equal only 16%.  Neutral references (like used symbolically and such) equal 25%.  Favorable references to alcohol equal 59%.

"Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine." Genesis 27:28

Realizing this, I could not take the position that to drink was a sin.  Over and over again in Scripture wine represents a blessing.  I grew up claiming Deuteronomy 28, that I was the head and not the tail, that everything I put my hand to would prosper.  Well, that passage says that the lack of wine is a curse.  Sometimes in the Bible it almost seems like a command.  So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this!  Ecclesiastes 9:7. That was something to consider.

Then there are all the references to Jesus drinking wine.  His first miracle was turning water into wine.  He taught in parables of new wine in old wine skins.  The good Samaritan poured wine and oil on the injured man to heal him.  Jesus instituted the Eucharist during Passover, a meal in which four cups of wine are drunk.  Would the Passover and thereby the Eucharist make any sense in a prohibitionist world?  He said, "This is my blood."  This was something else to consider.  WWJD and all that.

ברוך אתה ה' א‑לוהינו מלך העולם, בורא פרי הגפן.‏
Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu Melekh ha'olam, bo're p'ri ha'gafen.
Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe, Who creates the fruit of the vine.

Then there were the other New Testament references to consider.  Paul told Timothy to take a little wine to aid his digestion.


So, it's not a sin, but was it for me?  Should I be drinking, even occasionally?


But what about all the arguments against drinking I had heard over the years?  Let's look at some of those.


You shouldn't do anything to make another stumble.  Yes, this is true.  Romans 14:21: "It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble."  Those who over the years have preached to me about not drinking were not vegetarians.  Why is this particular Scripture applied the way it is in regards to wine, but not as it applies to meat?  Ponder that one a while.


This admonition not to drink wine because of a weaker believer is one verse out of 228 references to wine, 59% of which are positive.  Would seem odd to let this one verse over shadow the rest.


There must be a way in which to apply this verse that is contextually correct.  


There are two things mentioned: eating meat and drinking wine.  Paul says let those who drink not judge those who don't.  And those that abstain should not judge those who partake.

Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don't. And those who don't eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them.  Romans 14:3

The whole passage stresses walking love with one another and not letting your liberty or lack of liberty be something that injures your relationship with others.  Relationship over rules.  Spirit over the letter.


When you can turn water into wine, then you can drink it.  Believe it or not, I have heard this exact phrase.  Fairly bad Scriptural application there.  Jesus didn't drink all the wine He created at the wedding in Cana.  He served it to all the guests and to the wedding party.


Besides which I have heard true accounts of water being turned into wine during the revival in Indonesia.


The wine mentioned in the Bible wasn't really wine.  It was just grape juice.  Well, in Matthew 11:19 Jesus was accused of being a drunk.  How is that that that would make any sense if He only drank grape juice?  And what about Paul's admonition to the New Testament church not to get drunk during communion? (I Corinthians 11)  My church serves itty-bitty shot of white grape juice.  No one's getting drunk on that.  Must have been something different served in Corinth.


What parents allow in moderation, children will excuse in excess.  This little platitude is said with quite a bit of authority in some circles in which I have moved.  At first hearing you say, "Oh wow.  That's true."  Because, we have all heard stories or known someone who sneaked their parents' scotch from the liquor cabinet and got drunk.  But, upon further evaluation, this doesn't make a lot of sense.


I grew up watching my dad drink coffee in moderation.  I am not addicted to caffeine.


I grew up watching my mother occasionally fry chicken or make cake.  I'm not obese.


I grew up watching a moderate amount of television and movies.  I'm not a couch potato.


The logic just isn't there and Scripture does not back this up.  Moderation is a good thing. "Let your moderation be known to all..." Philippians 4:5  All extremes are bad. "The man who fears God will avoid all extremes." Ecclesiastes 7:18.


Alcohol is bad because it's mood altering.  If you drink to alter your mood, that's wrong.  You should only rely on the Holy Spirit for that.  Yes, a very spiritual argument.  At face value this is a tough one to argue.  If you need a lift or to relax, you should go to God.  Yes, I really do believe that.  But does that completely preclude a glass of wine after a hard day?


Well, let's re-frame the question: Is eating cashews a sin?


A couple handfuls of cashews has the same mood altering properties as a prozac. 


Is eating chocolate a sin?


Dark-chocolate is hailed as an anti-anxiety drug--dating back to the Mayans.


Is taking a fish oil supplement a sin?


Fish oil helps aid in depression, anxiety and managing anger.


So, is the fact that wine is mood altering a reason to avoid it completely?  I don't believe so.  In fact, the Bible seems to approve of such use: He causes the grass to grow for the cattle, And vegetation for the service of man, That he may bring forth food from the earth, And wine that makes glad the heart of man, Oil to make his face shine, And bread which strengthens man's heart.  Psalm 104:14-15


I don't want to support an industry that has destroyed so many lives.  I really respect where this argument is coming from.  Alcoholism has destroyed a lot of lives.  Yet, alcohol hasn't done it.  People have.  Just like "guns don't kill, people do."  


If it wouldn't be OK for the kids to drink, you shouldn't drink it.  Don't be a hypocrite. I know a lot of people feel this way about alcohol.  But are our kids really incapable of understanding that some things are not meant for children and that's OK?  Gana and I each have a cup of coffee with breakfast.  The kids understand that that is not something they are going to get.  They may drink it when they are older.


Drinking is dangerous because it can lead to drunkenness.  Yes, this is true.  In the same way eating is dangerous because it can lead to gluttony.  

My Decision


So, I became neutral on the issue.  1 Corinthians 8:8: "Food does not commend us to God; for neither if we eat we are the better, nor if we do not eat are we the worse."


I was then in a good position to decide what I believed was OK for me.  I was in a position of liberty and a clear conscience before God.


I considered a few things.


1) I want my kids to see me live the values of moderation and liberty.  If I don't wrestle through those tough things, but take the easy way out by avoidance, what will I teach them?


2) I want to give my kids a healthy context for eating and drinking.  For example, my kids know how I feel about drive-thrus.  Food is not meant to be consumed en masse, in the car, off a paper wrapper.  Food is meant to be eaten sitting at a table with others.  And I model this for them.  (not as a sin issue, but simply from a context of health and well-being)  I want them to have the same sort of context in which to evaluate wine and other alcohol.


3) I don't want to glory in my own goodness.  This is a weakness of mine; I know this.  I could very easily take pride in the fact that I never drink.


So, I decided, very deliberately to start taking wine and occasionally other alcohol.  It was a conscious, theological and Spirit-led decision.  


First of all, I take it in the context of food.  I don't go out drinking as an entertainment in and of itself.  And I have never been drunk.  But, it is now a common thing that we have a glass of wine at dinner.  Or if it pairs better (I'm still such a foodie, after all) we'll have a beer. (On a hot summer day nothing is quite like a grass-fed handmade burger on the grill, topped with blue cheese and accompanied by a summer ale.)  This way the kids learn to view it as food--just as they do my morning cup of joe.  Just as Gana and I don't eat to excess, we do not drink to excess.


Food, and therefore drink, is meant to be enjoyed in the context of community.  Eating is a social thing.  It has been since our first taste of food at our mothers' breasts.  Food is one way we connect with the larger community and culture.  So, now it is also common that when we have people over we open a new bottle of wine to share or when we are celebrating something, we pop a bottle of champagne.


I do not always drink wine with dinner, just as I do not always drink coffee at breakfast.  Sometimes it's water all day.  Sometimes for health sake.  Sometimes because the Holy Spirit says, "Not today, my daughter."  Sometimes I don't, just because I do not want anything to become a necessity to me.  "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." I Corinthians 6:12

I know that I take a great risk in posting this that some will wonder why I bothered explaining something so trivial.  Others will think that I've lost my salvation.  Let me be clear: I do not feel that every Christian should drink.  I have come to believe that this is a very individual decision.  If God has not given you a taste for wine (I know people who don't drink it simply because they don't like it!) there is no reason why one should feel compelled to try to enjoy it.  If you came to dinner at my house you would have complete freedom to partake or not to partake.  That is why you sometimes see pictures on this blog and my other blogs of us enjoying wine or beer along with our food and with friends.  If you didn't feel comfortable with it, we would all drink iced tea instead and be happy in your company.  We have come to the place where it is a non-issue in our home.  


I do believe that we must be responsible and eat and drink with integrity.  Everything we do must be for the glory of God--including how we eat and drink.

Book Review: Heaven Is For Real For Kids

Heaven Is For Real For Kids is by Colton Burpo, as told to his parents Todd and Sonja Burpo.  It is an account of Colton's trip to heaven when he was four years old.

This Summer I read Heaven Is For Real (the adult version) aloud to the family.  The kids LOVED it.  We laughed.  We cried.  We had many great discussion about death and heaven.  It was so timely because in the Spring my great-grandmother passed away and in June my grandfather passed away.  Right after that my grandmother went into Hospice care.  She passed away in September.  So, death and heaven is a regular topic of conversation around here lately--a rather heavy subject for little children.

We all enjoyed the regular Heaven Is For Real so much that I was actually hesitant to even order to kids' version.  I'm not one to think that kids need a dumbed-down version of most literature.  However, the kids and I were delighted with this book.  In fact, the little ones (the six year old, the four year old, and the two year old) have been reading it often for their daily devotional time.  The big kids (the ten year old, the nine year old, and the seven year old) enjoy reading it to the little ones, too.  The pictures are beautiful and engaging.  I think it's been comforting to them when they are missing their grandparents.  The book has all the innocence and beauty of the regular version without changing any of Colton Burpo's vision of heaven.

However, I don't think that this book for kids replaces the regular version.  I am glad that my kids have experienced both.  I would encourage parents to read the regular to their children and have the picture book available for discussions and devotional time.  They are a good set when used together.  I wouldn't use this separate from the other.

I'm so glad that I ordered it and it is now a permanent part of our Peace Retreat.

(I received a copy of this book for free from Thomas Nelson's BookSneeze Program.  I was not paid for my review.)

For Theology Geeks on Reformation Day

Four pint beer glasses with the Fathers of the Reformation.  Jonathon Edwards, Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon and John Calvin.  Nothing like throwin' one back with Luther--who owned a brewery, by the way.

Can be ordered here.

Here's another gem from the same company:

"He who drinks much beer sleeps well.  He who sleeps does not sin and he who does no sin goes to heaven."  Martin Luther

If beer's not your thing, can I interest you in a John Calvin tie, complete with the title page of the 1536 edition of Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion?   

Sys-TIE-matic Theology
Get it here

And for the Reformed kid in all of us:

Yes, that's right.  Silly Bandz in the shape of Luther's face.  Get it here.

And for your bilingual infant theology geek:

From where else, but Cafe Press.

Happy Reformation Day!  Y'all have fun!  And if you are a theology geek and you give your friends a Luther Silly Band I hope you don't get beat up on the playground.