Wasting our lives and glorifying God

Wasting our lives and glorifying God
Notice God's unutterable waste of saints, according to the judgment of the world. God plants His saints in the most useless places. We say - God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is. ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, August 10

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Pregnancy Rules

Is it just me or does pregnancy seem so.....complicated?  It cannot have been this difficult for all of time.  There are so many things you are supposed to remember and do and eat and not eat.  Makes my head swim.

Do take prenatal vitamins.  Don't eat soft cheese. For that matter don't eat fish more than twice a week and never eat sushi.

Do exercise.  But, don't bounce, sit in a hot tub, do leg lifts or lay on your back.  Not even while you are sleeping.  Also, don't do anything that requires balance such as riding a bike, walking a balance beam or for me, walk up stairs.  While we're at it, don't wear high heals for the same reason.

Do keep having relations with your husband.  But, don't do anything kinky.  Or during your last few weeks.  Or if you experience spotting.  And remember about the not lying on your back thing.

See your doctor regularly.  Like every couple weeks.  Take every test and give them whatever they ask for including your blood, urine, swabs and cultures of every kind, pictures of your baby, and hair samples if they ask.  Don't even think about refusing a Group B Strep test or a 24 hour glucose test.  And what?  You don't want an ultrasound?  But, it's protocol.

Don't take unnecessary medication while pregnant and certainly don't drink--not even a sip of wine--for goodness' sake!  But, be sure to get your vaccinations and flu shots.

Don't have any dental work done that requires Novocaine.  It's not safe for the baby.  But, if you're in labor narcotic drugs administered by your OB team are completely safe.

Get fresh air and get out in nature.  But, if you build a campfire, don't breath in the wood smoke.  Be very careful what you breath, in general.  If you have a cat, don't change the litter box.  Since we are talking about air quality, travel to high altitudes only with caution while pregnant or your baby may be born too small.  (Those poor ladies who actually live at high altitudes....)

Other things on the no-no list are traveling to developing countries (again, never mind those who actually live and work in developing countries), take homeopathics, get acupuncture, gain more than 35 pounds, drink unpasteurized juice or milk, eat raw honey, or deli meats or pate (unless they are steaming hot).  The same geniuses also claim it's completely safe to ingest artificial sweeteners.

(Obviously, I am not a doctor and I'm not recommending you go out and do risky things.  I believe in being healthy and eating right and avoiding drugs, and all that.  You can read my tongue-in-cheek approach to this, right?)

No matter how hard we try and no matter all of our good intentions, no pregnant women can possibly remember all the rules--especially since they seem to change all the time.  Some new discovery and all of sudden your favorite food or activity is off-limits.  Bummer.  Should have got pregnant last year; would have been considered safe.

I think each pregnant woman really should approach pregnancy--like she approaches all of life--with a healthy dose of common sense and a liberal amount of education.  I think an educated woman who knows the basics of health and wellness won't be caught saying things like, "My doctor said I didn't have to give up my diet soda and Twinkie habit."  At the same time she won't freak out, "I drank a glass of wine before I knew I was pregnant!  Oh no!"  And she won't buy into things like "say no to drugs--unless you are in labor, load me up!"

Sarcasm aside, we all have cheated on the pregnancy rules.  Who wants to confess?  I'll go first. 

I eat soft cheeses, quite frequently actually. 

I still eat seafood including sushi. 

I still eat chocolate, drink tea and occasionally a little bit of coffee (like half the cup filled with milk and the rest coffee).

I have never had an ultrasound, a Group B Strep Test, or blood glucose test.

Now it's your turn.  What was your indulgence?  What rules did you cheat?  'Fess up!  Feel free to remain anonymous in the comments.  You don't even have to sign your name--I'll make an exception to the comment rules for you this time.


Anonymous said...

I guess most of it I was lucky. No one really had to tell me most of them since I looked most of them up. I was a waitress for most of my pregnancy (up until 2 weeks before I gave birth) I had an awesome mid wife who even came in when she was ill and had me deliver my son. I worked around smoke, I carried heavy food and work long hard days and walked to and from work. I didnt take prenatal pills like supposed to.

My son came out healthy, failed his hearing test (aparently if you have any hispanic dna it could cause them to fail due to how the ear is set or something.....the nurses said it was normal and to reschedule) we never did cuz we KNEW his hearing was fine. Merick turned to look at Tony when he spoke as soon as he came out and now a days he is sensitive hearing.

ps I heard that SOME drs say that if mom was a smoker then she needs to lessen the amount she smokes (not to go cold turkey cuz it causes stress)
My mid wife said that IF you MUST wind down with alcohol beverage then to have a half a beer or half glass of wine NOT TO BECOME DRUNK.
But even with those warnings some mothers use them as a crutch and continue these bad habits that are KNOWN to hurt the fetus.


Dawn said...

This post makes me wonder about all the babies that were conceived *due* to too much wine being consumed. :D

How come they all didn't turn out with two heads?

Anonymous said...

I'll confess first. :)

With my oldest daughter I craved (& ate) liver sausage sandwiches & Diet Pepsi. With my son it was Chinese food & ice cubes.

With oldest daughter I gained 50 lbs. & she weighed 7lb-9oz. With son I gained 8 lbs. & he weighed 7lb-12oz.

They're both adults & have all their fingers, toes AND marbles so... whatever I did &/or didn't do must not have mattered much.

The youngest daughter was much easier tho... found out I was pregnant at 9:30pm on a Friday night (aka: got the call that a baby girl was available to us for adoption) & gave birth on Sunday at noon (aka: picked her up from the adoption agency). 36 hrs. from start to finish with her & I didn't even have one dr. visit.



It's because of all the rules, regulations & unethical (IMO) practices that I don't work in OB anymore. Inductions 2 weeks before a baby's due date, because the dr is going on a cruise, isn't acceptable to me. Neither is pulling the baby out with forceps because doc has to get home before the football game starts. :-/

In this anti-baby world of ours I'm surprised the "rule book" doesn't state to stay off your back BEFORE you get pregnant. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

I tried to do everything right, and what happened?, I still ended up years later with a sick kid. Then volunteered to be in a research study that questioned everything I did years before the pregnancy and months before the pregnancy,and even what I did after the pregnancy....and what did it get me?...horrible feelings of guilt. What did I learn. That God is good and to stop trying to figure out the why's in life.

Sheri said...

Well, let's see if I can remember that far back. With my first 3 I probably gained 40 pounds each time. Pigged out on everything. (Fortunately I lost some of it each time.) I never had the glucose tolerance test with my first 3, but with Charley I did. (I will never drink orange soda again.) I had gestational diabetes with the 4th so laid off chocolate and stayed on a healthy eating regimin. (Only gained 18 pounds that time. That was nice.) The dr. wanted me to have an amniothentesis test with my 4th because I was 40--I said no way, the baby was fine. I do regret having induced labor with 2 of them though. There ya go.

Karen Joy said...

A lot of the things you posted, I'd never heard of: Don't inhale woodsmoke? Really?

I remember with my second, I was seeing a nurse midwife who also had patients who were incarcerated. I can't remember my wee confession -- I think it was coffee -- but she busted up laughing and told me that I was one of her healthiest patients, bar none, if I wanted to drink coffee, by all means, drink the coffee.

I think some of the things amount to risk in accumulation. And, unfortunately, I think many of those "rules" are made for women who don't have a lot of sense, or who don't have a lot of wise input from a mother, or who never does her own research, or... something like that. Like you said, "I think each pregnant woman really should approach pregnancy--like she approaches all of life--with a healthy dose of common sense and a liberal amount of education."

Lady Dorothy said...

I guess I broke all the rules. But, way back then, all the rules I broke needed to be broken! ;-) I had my first two babies at home -- illegally! The only rule of my naturopathic doctor that I remember breaking was eating white bread. Oh, well. Bread is still a big downfall of mine!

Anna said...

I eat sushi like it becomes illegal tomorrow. I also am a caffeine addict, big time. I drink sweet tea daily, coffee when I want. I don't take prenatal vitamins. I refuse nearly all testing, and I see a CPM who doesn't believe in most of it to begin with, so it's pretty easy.

I was most careful with my first pregnancy. No caffeine except a very occasional indulgence, very careful eating. That kid is speech delayed and learning disabled.

With my second pregnancy, I never quit caffeine, gave into my chocolate cravings more, and just kind of went with the flow. That kid is very precocious.

With both pregnancies, I gained 40 pounds, and went into spontaneous labor at roughly 42 weeks.

We'll see what #3 holds. I don't weigh myself this pregnancy, so I don't know how much I will gain or have already gained. I do know that it's a lot. This kid stands as good a chance as the others as far as I'm concerned.

Minoska said...

Well, with my first daughter, I did everything "by the book." If the doctor said this or that or the book "what to expect when you're expecting." Then with my second child (8 years later)), I drank one cup of coffee every day, ate soft cheeses, dye my hair like 4 times during the pregnancy, and for some reason craved red wine!

THE Princess Bombshell* said...

SO ate whatever I wanted! I HAD to make sure I got enough calories, protein, and vitamins! :-) I took all the supplements, herbs, vitamins, etc. that I was supposed to take. After that-- all was fair game! (Granted, I didn't drink soda, coffee, or tea when I wasn't pregnant, so that came easy.)

I wasn't big on candy, anyways-- but desserts? Totally! NEVER gave up chocolate.

I danced my butt off! Stayed in the studio and kept performing. A LOT of balancing. In fact, my balance IMPROVED! lol Isn't that somethin'!?

Never stopped wearing heels. I even bought pregnancy heels! You know, cuz my feet got fatter. The one thing that could make a fat chick feel sexy.

My prenatal appointments I can count on one hand. And not ONE vaginal or interntal exam.

Anonymous said...

I dont quite understand why people who are clearly intelligent still take risks with their pregnancies. The scientists, doctors, medical advisors are trying to give you the best chances of having healthy babes. I for one am happy to make small sacrifices for the duration of pregnancy for my precious unborn child. The test taken while inutero is so if something maybe wrong with your bub they can be fully prepared at birth to give best chance of healthy delivery. I dont know why some people think there is some conspiracy against pregnant women???

Rachel said...

When I was pregnant the first time I did paranoid and did EVERYTHING by the book. Then very close to the end of my first trimester I had a miscarriage. After that I was a little less careful in following pregnancy. You would expect it to go the other way around but I realized that even if you do all the things your supposed to something can still be wrong. Might as well have some small indulgences that aren't by the book. You just can't keep up with everything!

Kelly said...

I refuse the glucose test, I *usually* wiggle out of my Rhogam shot (I'm RH-), I only show up for about 3 visits my entire pregnancy unless there is a reason for more, and THIS TIME....I have thus far avoided a much-pressured induction and today I am technically 18 days over my "due date" (Daja, I'll be emailing you later about that ;-)

My doctor mostly chuckles and calls me "his favorite patient that he never sees"...but he's not chuckling over the induction thing...it's actually become a major source of emotional strain involving his calling me at home and "begging", and me ending up in tears.

KellyHinFL said...

I eat cold deli meat. I eat soft cheeses. I drink 2 or 3 cups of coffee a week (drinking one now, in fact!), and, GASP, I eat raw cookie dough!

Jodi said...

Wow I've broken a few. Soft cheeses... a sip here or there of wine (just a sip mind), I've never really had the chance to find out what 'take it easy' means even during the final stages of pregnancy, air travel at 36 weeks. I think one of the bigger ones was continuing to handle reptiles (pythons, lizards) during pregnancy. For goodness sake, yes I understand about bacteria, particularly the risk of salmonella poisoning, but when you use a vet-grade disinfectant cleanser as we do on a regular basis I'm pretty sure there's not that much of a worry ;)

Anonymous said...

Where do I begin! No runny eggs! Even my husband was on born with this one...NOT this lady! I craved them, so I had them, when we wasn't home :D. A few sips of wine or a beer. After, Buggy was born a GLASS of wine most nights (helps with the let down!!), but I wasn't into the runny egg thing anymore?! I drank either a cup of tea or coffee. I would have dark chocolate (it is better for you right?!?) compared to having a lot of milk chocolate. I seem to eat less of the dark, but I enjoyed it more..WIN/WIN. Also, ate soft cheese, but I didn't know you 'were not' until after I had him when I overheard another mom in the drs office talking about it. OH WELL! I wore heels until the 7mth month, but stopped when the heat was just too hot (September baby in the South, do NOT recommend!)and I was afraid my feet would swell from all the heat. I only gained 22lbs!

Dr.Kacie said...

I love this... I also have done things that I am not 'supposed' to do during my pregnancy. I am 31 weeks and feel great. I have been TRUSTING the messages of my body and my baby.

No ultrasounds, I quit prenatal vitamins after weeks of being nauseated after taking them, I eat fish, soft cheese, tea in the morning, and an occasional sip of wine or beer.

I have cats, so clean their litterbox (gotta take care of my other babies)

I go hiking often and climb stairs to keep up with my leg strength and cardio health.

we live in a fear based society! and although we should take good care of ourselves during and not during pregnancy, we get stronger (as do our babies) by experiencing LIFE.

This is also why I will allow my little one to eat dirt, and never sanitize his/her hands with purell :) (also a no no?)

Thank you for this post!

Jessica Crosmun said...

During my pregnancy I:
Didn't bother worrying if I woke up on my back
Took prenatal vitamins and supplemental calcium
Ate healthily
Drank tons of water
Had sex nearly daily
Drank raw milk
Ate raw and soft cheese
Ate deli meat
Ate fish frequently
Avoided raw eggs
Avoided raw fish
horrors of horrors, had a homebirth! lol

I didn't:
Have any vaccinations
Have doppler used on my baby
Have an ultrasound
Have a glucose test
Have a strep-B test
Have really test, actually, except for a blood draw (checking iron levels) and a urine test every month

Anonymous said...

High five for being so transparent....I do watch my intake of caffeine more, but I do NOT cut it out. I do enjoy coffee....and soda.
I thought it was interesting that when I went to Joe's Crab Shack the waitress felt it was her need to inform me that I should NOT be eating crab while pregnant....I politely informed her that I felt one time in 9 months was just fine. I think she was a bit suprised and followed up with: "Yeah, I didn't follow all of those rules either!" I am not a big seafood eater, so it's not a problem for me.
AND, when pregnant I will crave chocolate and salt and beef jerky (mostly salt) and chips. On these things I try to shop at our locol "healthy" store to make sure that my beef jerky and chips have no MSG or perservatives....as they CAN affect me. I think if we listen to our bodies we can learn a lot about what we can and cannot do.

I was very saddened the other day with a couple of friends talking about how much they hated breastfeeding because of all of the things they had to give up....a glass of wine, chocolate, spicy foods, coffee etc. etc. And, these were not women that had to give them up because of allergic reactions from the baby....this was just them being told the "rules!" Sad to me how many women HATE something because of all the rules we have placed.

Nothing wrong with sacrifice for our babies, but I do think we can swing that pendulum too far.

Sara said...

well, i had to laugh at this. i have progressed from reading the WORST pregnancy book ever (what to expect when you are expecting) and becoming totally fearful about everything to...pregnancy #2 where i obsessed about protein intake and leafy greens to now where i...umm...just live like as i did before (minus the nightly glass of wine LOL) i do imbibe occassionally and did last pg at least, just no desire for it now. i think really if you listen to your body what is good for your baby will come through...want a glass of wine to ease your braxton hicks? go for it (so said my midwives my last pg, and i did listen to them) want to sit in the hot tub for that sore back? go for it! just get out before you feel too flushed! i mean, common sense. i eat runny eggs and dough but i get eggs from my mom so i know they are fine. i eat good quality sushi and soft cheese so i am okay with that...
then again. i had a VBAC at home with my last pregnancy and am doing the same this time around so i am pretty much an OB pregant woman REBEL. HA HA.

Mrs. and Mama K said...

I refused all tests with #2 (most with #1), didn't get Rhogam shot #1 with baby #1 or any with #2 (and 3), I've carried my toddlers during #2 and 3 - from beginning to end, I've had raw eggs in smoothies and runny ones for breakfast, some sips of wine, only technically 1 or 2 visits with midwife before our homebirth (the second one being the day before the birth), I'm taking regular food-based vitamins instead of "prenatals", I got pregnant with a hernia (a BIG no-no!!), i've eaten milk products due to cravings (even though my body inflames from them), plenty of love with the hubby, no ultrasounds for #2 and 3, no induction (though they were 10-12 days "late"), slept on my back a few times, and plenty of HOT showers...I'm sure there's more rules I've broken, but haven't done the research to know they exist...

Anonymous said...

I read everything about every 'rule' that I could find. I didn't know about deli meat at first so I followed that one belatedly. I drank caffeine pretty much every day, just stayed under the 250mg. We stayed at my dad's, which is wood heat. Other than that, I guess I followed the rules lol.

Alice said...

Oh Daja, I have just "re-found" your blog!! I must have missed the new blog posts at the old place, and lately got to wondering why you hadn't updated in so long! ;)

Congratulations on your new pregnancy - I am so excited for you!!! I just had my 5th baby at home in December!

I love this post! I break the rules here and there too. I drink wine as much as I do any other time, but then I usually only have a half glass once ever month or so. I craved runny eggs last pregnancy so I ate those aplenty! I lick the bowl when I bake, lie on my back if it's comfy, and eat crazy amounts of chocolate to the tune of a 50+lb weight gain each pregnancy! :S

I am Group B Strep positive (well, I've tested positive the last 3 pregnancies) but for the last two I have refused IV antibiotics and had a homebirth.

I feel way more confident about just "doing" pregnancy as it comes naturally, now that I've had several more children. The first two, I was quite worried about little things and eager to adhere to rules to sort of live the Pregnant Lifestyle - how silly, lol!

Praying for your sweet friend and her baby boy! Hope to keep up with your posts again from now on! :)

Anonymous said...

I took long hot saunas as often as I could when I was pregnant with Ilona... I would have with Felix, but we moved and there's no sauna in our new house. :(

And I gained around 45lbs with both... Unfortunately I haven't lost it all after Felix. *sigh* But my husband likes it. :D


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