The Gift Of An Experience

I am really blessed.  And I know it.  My husband and I, as much as we irritate one another, really do "get" one another.  As much as we joke with each other about being incompatible, in so many ways we blissfully match.

For example, his love language is the giving of gifts.  And he's pretty good at it.  But, mine isn't.  Gifts that I appreciate most are not actually tangible things, but experiences.  I love surprises.  And I love experiences that are lovely and enriching and that I can think about for years to come.  A great memory is like an eternal gift to me.  I love gifts that I don't so much hold in my hands, but rather hold in my heart.

This past week my husband gave me the gift of a little adventure--an experience.  A childhood dream come true.  I think my soul will be relishing it for a long time.

A while back I happened to mention in passing that as a child I'd always wanted to walk across the Golden Gate bridge.  Somehow, even though I'd driven across it many times, I'd never walked across it.  As a child it just seemed so cool.  It's a silly childhood fantasy.

I never gave it another thought after that conversation.  I thought, "Oh well.  Someday." And then promptly put it out of my mind.  Fast forward to this past week.

I was up on the Central Coast with my kids who were taking the standardized state tests with our private school.  We stayed with Papa and Nana; Gana stayed home to work.  I was due to drive home on Friday morning.  On Thursday night, quite late, Gana inexplicably showed up at my parents' house!  I just sort of stared at him, in disbelief.  I think I said something beautiful like, "Why are you here????"

He said he was there to fulfill a dream for me.  We were headed to San Francisco!  What?!

I then continued to say lovely things like, "But, I didn't pack for San Francisco!"  No worries.  He had brought a couple of my cutest maternity dresses, my walking shoes, my heavy coat and even remembered some scarves to cover my hair in the wind!  He had made arrangements for my parents to watch the children, so we could have a romantic getaway before the baby arrives this summer!!  Everyone seemed to be in on the scheme, except me!  No one had let me in on the secret at all!

It gets better.

He rented a car--a red convertible!!!!  He planned for us to drive up Highway 1 with the top down!  He booked an incredible bed-and-breakfast at a historic site on the Sausalito side of the Golden Gate.  And we were going to walk across the Golden Gate!

So we left early on Friday morning.  Set off up the coast, taking in the ocean breezes.  We stopped for breakfast in Cayucos and then at one of favorite places--the New Camaldoli Hermitage in Big Sur. We listened to the monks chant and arrived at just the right time for part of Mass.  Mostly we took in the views and breathed it all in. (One day--when I don't have a nursing baby--I will go there on a silent retreat.)

Big window on the balcony of the chapel, overlooking the Pacific

Then we stopped in Monterey--where we had spent part of our honeymoon.  We walked on Fisherman's Warf and ate some fish-n-chips.

We got to the Golden Gate in the evening.  We checked into our room--which was just the most lovely place you can imagine.  And I laced up my walking shoes.  Dream come true in just moments!

Ta-da!!!  I'm here!!!

In the background you can see the historic Coast Guard site where we stayed.

Saw all these people running on the bridge and didn't want to stand out or anything.

Mr. Sandman....bringing me good dreams come true since 1999.

BUMP AHEAD!

Supposedly, according to some over-achieving website, the walk is supposed to take 30 minutes round trip. Well, it took this pregnant lady and her photo-happy escort about 1.5 hours.  So, by the time we were done I was HUNGRY!  So, we ordered food to our room from the lodge's restaurant.  This is the perfect way to end a perfect day:

Eating on the king sized bed in front of the fire.

Roasted Bone Marrow.  I would eat it every day if I could.

The fire, the wine and the marrow!

The next day we played tourist.  We drove down Lombard Street.  In our red Mustang convertible and looking very Californian, we are now in more than one Japanese tourist's scrapbook.  Felt like we were a little bit celebrity.

Then we walked and played on Fisherman's Warf and ended our day with an awesome (although very chilly) cruise and tour of Alcatraz.

Antique arcade games are fantastic.

Test your strength!  Gana rang the bell!

WWII Submarine

Daja the Riveter

Solitary Confinement.  Eek.

At the end of the tour there is an art exhibit about restorative justice, featuring the stories of six murderers who have been rehabilitated and paroled.  Then people respond to the exhibit on post-it notes.

It was a truly amazing two days.  Really a dream come true.  What blessed me more than anything was knowing that Gana had listened to the little girl inside the woman who still wanted to have this experience.  He not only heard it, he crafted the perfect experience.  He demonstrated his love so creatively, so uniquely and so perfectly for me that occasionally, still, I'll burst out laughing, unable to believe it.

On the way home I plugged in the ipod and played Donna Fargo's The Happiest Girl In The Whole U.S.A. 

(Thank you to my parents, too, who watch the kids and helped arrange a great surprise!)

Religious Freedom In Every Sphere

Below is a letter I wrote on behalf of my dear friend and midwife, Brenda, who was arrested for exercising her faith as it applies to childbirth.  She has always felt it was her calling to assist women in birth.  She's a Traditional Christian (unlicensed) midwife, a fact that she has never hid.  In fact, she has openly advertised that fact, because there are those of us out there who are looking for just that--independent, religious centered birth on our own terms.  

We also started a petition on Brenda's behalf.  Even if home birth is not your thing, please sign it.  Even if you are not a Christian, please sign it.  At its core, it's not about home birth or theology.  It's about the essential right we all have to decide what we believe and how that is best lived out.  That is the right and responsibility of every individual (our "inalienable rights") and should not be infringed upon by the government.

SIGN HERE.

To Whom It May Concern:

            My name is Daja Gombojav.  I'm the mother of seven, all born at home.  In six of the seven labors I have been attended by Brenda Capps.  My husband, Gana, is seminary educated with a Master's Degree in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary.  We have been missionaries and pastors in Mongolia.

            When we found out we were expecting our first child we specifically searched out a Christian midwife.  We were thrilled to be introduced to Brenda Capps and to learn she practiced under the Religious Exemption Clause.  We have always viewed birth as not only a spiritual, but a religious experience.  Only in the rare cases of emergencies is it a "medical" experience. 

           This understanding of birth as primarily religious can be found to span many, if not most religious thought and dogmas.  In Judaism, "A midwife’s role, among other things, is to encourage a birthing mother to "let go" and allow herself to become a conduit for this great Force to flow through. Trust in the natural process of labor and in a woman’s body to birth normally and safely is the hallmark of midwifery care. Every culture and religion has their own words and metaphors to describe their reverence and awe of this process. But for Jewish midwives, this reverence stems from an understanding that birth is G‑dly in nature. Their faith in birth is inexorably bound with their faith in G‑d." (Source)

            In Catholicism, birth is understood to be participating in the same creative power that took Eve from Adam's side.  St. Hildegard of Bingen, theologian and Doctor of the Church explains, "When birth is approaching, the vessel in which the child is enclosed is torn, and then comes the eternal energy that took Eve from Adam's side, and is present and turns upside-down all the corners of the shelter in the woman's body.  All the structures of the woman's body rush toward this energy, receive it and open up to it.  They do so until the child emerges.  Afterwards, they return to their previous state.  As the child emerges, its soul too feels the eternal energy that sent it, and meanwhile it rejoices." (St. Hildegard of Bingen in Causes and Cures)

            In Charismatic/Pentecostal Christian traditions, the belief that Jesus reversed the curse, thus lifting the pain of childbirth is in agreement with Romans 14:23 which says that anything not from faith is sin.  In a now classic Christian childbirth text, Supernatural Childbirth, author Jackie Mize writes, "When I refer to supernatural childbirth, I’m talking strictly about being able to conceive and to have babies with a pregnancy free from nausea, morning sickness, pain, moodiness, depression and without fear of any kind; then going through the entire labor without pain, and through the delivery without stitches and anesthetic. I’m talking about using the Word of God to overcome, change and make things better." (Supernatural Childbirth, Jackie Mize)

           In Reformed Christian traditions, the understanding of birth being religious extends to conception and pregnancy also.  God is seen as completely Sovereign.  He alone opens and closes the womb.  "Each time a human baby is born, another image bearer of God is brought into the world, thereby making each birth a very spiritual event.  Birth may be a commonly-occurring experience, but that does not make it common, mundane, or insignificant. It is miraculous. Isn't that how God is sometimes? Even His own son's coming to earth seemed "insignificant." A baby born in a stable to a poor family is far from the regalia appropriate for our Messiah, the Son of God.  It almost seems like He chooses to allow Himself to be "hidden" in the most obvious of places." (AboveRubies)

            For our family, we are always striving to live fully integrated lives where our faith informs every aspect of our day-in-and-day-out.  This includes our family planning (or lack thereof), pregnancy, birth, post-partum and the way we raise our children.  Because this is our outlook on family, we believe that childbirth is an expression of our faith.  It is not a medical event that should be managed by men. It is an act of the Sovereign God. 

            When planning for our births a few things are essential: We want to give birth in an atmosphere of faith, peace, and love.  We don't invite anyone who will bring fear, control, or worry.  Everyone present must be in agreement with our objectives of a birth without pain, fear, or intervention.  I want someone who will encourage me to surrender to the Power that is eternal and available.

            This is why we have chosen Brenda to attend us in childbirth six times.  The role she fills is not medical, it is spiritual.  She acts as a sort of guide between a woman and the innate power she has at her disposal to give birth.  Had Brenda not been practicing her art the way she has been, we would have searched out another Christian direct entry midwife.  If we were unable to find one we would have chosen to birth unattended.  That's how strongly we feel about our children not being born into a medical environment--whether that be at the hospital or recreated at home by a caregiver who doesn't truly trust birth.

            We count ourselves extremely blessed to live in a country and state where women have the choice to manage their reproduction according to their own conscience and religion.  We realize that many places the government tries to intervene to tell families how, when and where their children can/should be born.  We pray that California is not headed down that road.  It will be to the detriment to all of us.

            We stand wholeheartedly with Brenda Capps and her practice under the Religious Exemption Clause. 

Sincerely,

Daja Gombojav

Brenda and my sixth baby

If you believe in the First Amendment, if you value your Religious Freedom, if you think that parents should decide for themselves how, where, and with whom they birth their babies, PLEASE sign the petition and make your voice heard.

(Linked to Fight Back Friday, Best Post Of The Week, Simply Natural Saturdays)

Call Me....Maybe

OK, so this song has been parodied and remade a gazillion times already.  But, here are my favorites.  So silly.  Have a laugh.  Then call me, maybe if you want to.

One for all my baby-wearing friends:

One that the kids love, and I confess, I think is brilliant (way better than the original, in fact):



For political junkies.  (This has more substance than most of Obama's speeches. *snark*)

Long Live The Queen

Israel said, "Remember when the Queen jumped out of the helicopter at the Olympics?"

Meg replied, "She didn't really.  You really think that an old lady would jump out of a helicopter???  And with her handbag?  Seriously?"

Israel, redirecting the conversation said, "I wonder what she keeps in that handbag."

"Trail Mix" I interjected.

Tale of Two Boys

I have two children in my house (well, I have seven, but for the sake of this tale, I have two).

One fine morning one says, "Mom, I don't feel so well.  Can I lay down?"  When I feel his forehead, he has a raging fever!  So, I tuck him into bed, give him some herbs and he goes to sleep.  And he stays asleep the rest of the day, only waking when I bring him more herbs or homeopathics.  He wants the light off, the room quiet and to not be disturbed.  He doesn't want to eat or read or to be entertained.  He just wants to sleep it off.  And he does.  He wakes up the next morning bright-eyed and happy!  His illnesses rarely last more than 24 hours.  He bounces right back.

Then there is the other child....

He says, "Mom!!!!!!!  I DON'T FEEL GOOOOOOOOOOD!"  And I feel his forehead and he might feel a bit warm but not much.  "Would you like to lay down?" I ask.  "I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!" he whines.  So, I tuck him into bed and give him some kombucha and some homeopathics.  He tosses and turns and gets up and throws himself on the couch and complains that what I gave him didn't help.  "My head hurts, Mom!  Please do something!"  Finally he wears me down and I give him a half a Tylenol.  About 3 am, I hear "MOM!!!!!!!!!!  MOM!!!!!!!!!!!" in that desperate tone of voice.  I race up the stairs thinking I'm going to find vomit or something.  Instead I hear, "Mom, I can't sleep."  Ummmm.......so you think I shouldn't either?  I don't say that, but it's what I'm thinking.  So, I make him a bed on the couch and give him a drink and some herbs.  About an hour later he's in my bed tossing like a trout.  His illness drags on for 2-3 days like this until he is over it.

Oh......I wish they could all be like the first one.  But, it's blatantly obvious to both Gana and I that one takes after me and the other takes after him.

You can speculate which is which.

On the 12th Day of Christmas....The Messiah Who Disappoints

"In choosing to be born in utter obscurity, the King of the universe ignored conventional expectations. He celebrated in His own birthday the freedom to be unorthodox. In failing to live up to people's presuppositions ("From Nazareth?" ask Nathanael, "Can anything good come from that place?") Jesus became a stumbling block to many of his contemporaries. The housebroken Jewish imagination cringed at the crib, shuddered at the ersatz salvation of a humble unpredictable God. A King in rags was an insult to the finely honed intellect of the Pharisee and the rational mind of the scribe. Simpleminded shepherds and the rabble who did not know the Law might be hoodwinked, but those who studied the Scripture could not be deceived. There is a fascinating principle at work here in very religious people: 'Messiah, You get our allegiance only when You fulfill our expectations.'"

Do you not just find it amazing that God feels no obligation to meet your expectations? He's not just free to surpass them; He is completely unfettered by them.

"In making decisions, Jesus was called in freedom to ask first not what the Law says but what would the Father have Him do. A free life is often unconventional and surprising because it is available to those creative possibilities and innovative gestures that have been screened out of consideration by standards of acceptable behavior. In opting to celebrate His birthday in Bethlehem in such low-key fashion, Jesus revealed himself free from public opinion, from fear of what others might say or think. Jesus is the incarnation of the Father's freedom."

(From Lion and Lamb, The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Father Brennan Manning)

Theology 101: Belgee breakin' it down

Saraa (4): I love Jesus!  And I love the angels!  And I love everyone in the whole world!

Belgee (5): That's good.  Jesus says we have to love even our enemies.  But, He didn't mean like the devil and stuff.  He meant like pick-pockets.