I gained a lot of weight in my last pregnancy. I think the final count was about 80 pounds. And yet, four months post-partum, I'm in almost all my regular clothes, with the exception of a few particularly skinny things. My regular clothes are a size 4-6. I haven't dieted nor started working out. I just have a baby who nurses around the clock and six other kids to run around with constantly.
Feelin' pretty good about myself.
That is until yesterday at the bank.
I was holding the baby and had three of the other kids with me. The clerk said, "You have your hands full today." I replied, "I have my heart full today."
She said, "Oh, that's sweet. How far along are you?"
"Excuse me?"
"How many months pregnant are you," she said again, pointing at my stomach.
I stared at her in complete disbelief. Finally I said, pointing to the baby in my arms, "This one just came out of me a few months ago. You think I'm pregnant again?"
What could she say, "Oh, sorry 'bout that."
The clerk next to her, a man, stared at her with a look that said, "I'm so glad I didn't say something that stupid." I told her, "You know he's going to completely mock you when I walk out of here."
On a crazier note, I was in Target a couple days ago with the baby in the Moby Wrap. This young woman said to me, "Is that your baby?"
"What?"
"Is that your baby?"
"You mean the one I'm wearing? Yes, this is my baby."
"Oh," she said, "He looks Asian."
I guess it's just inconceivable. Alrighty then.
I will never ever ever think that men have the corner on stupid things said to women about pregnancies and babies. In my experience women are 10 times worse. Those of our fairer sex seem to have no problem putting our foot in our mouth.
Schools really should offer a class on making small talk, because there are a lot of people who don't know how to do it well at all.
Wasting our lives and glorifying God
Notice God's unutterable waste of saints, according to the judgment of the world. God plants His saints in the most useless places. We say - God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is. ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, August 10
4 comments:
Ohhh Daja, you *so* should have responded with surprise at the "Asian" comment with "OHMYGOODNESS, don't tell my husband that!" and see what happens. lol
Welll allllrightyyy. Yesterday I got the comment that my autistic children seemed "totally normal." yep.
I have thought about the "school for small talk" thing in recent weeks. Actually, there DID used to be such a thing: Finishing schools. Among other things, they taught how to successfully engage in small talk. I remember being in high school, thanking God that our society was past the whole "finishing school" time in our history. Now that I'm in my late 30s, I think that a return to gentler skills would be a really, really good idea.
I'll never forget when I finally fit into my favorite cut-off "skinny" shorts after my oldest was born. I don't remember how old he was, but he was less than a year. The guy who did our yard at the time said, "Oh, you're pregnant again?" And persisted in insisting that I looked convincingly pregnant. I was mortified, and all the more so for my pride in wearing those shorts. :) It can even transfer to our children. After three boys, I delighted in the fact that my daughter was a GIRL (after being none-too-sure about mothering a girl)... but repeatedly, I'd get comments like, "Why'd you dress your little boy in pink?" Or, "Why does your little boy have a barrette in his hair?" Or, "Is that a girl or a boy?" WHAT???? I thought she was very girly and dainty-looking. But, she was very nearly bald, and I guess that threw off the foot-in-mouth observers.
With those kind of interactions, I never know whether to sadly laugh over the misspent pluck and poor upbringing of others, or to take it personally. I tend to the first, but those sort of comments do always sting a little.
I laughed at Happy Elf Mom's comment.
Yeah small talk classes would be great. I've also noticed that some others get very excited and start babbling. I try to wait five seconds before verbalising a thought, even if it means I speak less. I've decided it's better to be mute than to say something stupid.
Or maybe some people just need to have their tongues removed. ;)
I had nearly the same thing happen after Michael was born. I think he was only about six weeks old. Some lady who lives down the street said "Oh, you're pregnant again?!" I can't even remember what I said, because her comment was so insensitive and just plain stupid in light of the age of the baby I was holding.
I have a NO COMMENT policy on pregnant women. Unless they tell me specifically that they are pg, I don't say a word. I have told my kids the same thing: "When in doubt, shut yo mouth." :D
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