Pregnancy Mishap #542

About six years ago Gana and I took a cruise to Mexico.  Like many tourists we bought a hammock in Mexico.  It's a one person chair-type hammock, colored like the Mexican flag.  Not altogether beautiful, but reminds of us our wonderful vacation.  And I love hammocks.  Seriously, I wish I could hang a hammock in our living room--but Gana has forbidden it.

The vacation when the notorious hammock was purchased. 
File under: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

We carried the thing around with us, through two moves, never hanging it up.  We never had just the right location for it.  And now we do!  So, Gana hung it up on our back patio--off the living room and dining room.  It's perfect and perfectly delightful.

Gana was working late and the kids and I feasted on fish and chips.  Clean-up was easy and I got them tucked into bed at a decent time.  I did the dishes and swept up the dining room.  Feelin' good!  Hey, I have a little extra time before Gana gets home!  So, I took my new book out to the hammock, got all comfy and started reading.  I read until it got too dark.  And the mosquitoes started coming out.  And one bit my elbow.  And one bit my ankle.  And when one bit my booty--through my skirt!--I decided it was time for me to go inside.

Lean forward.

Nothing happened.

Heave big pregnant body.

Nothing happened. 

Try to get some substantial place for my foot.

Nope.  Just gave myself a nice swing and sat there swaying in the evening breeze.

Oh for crying out loud!  Throw down the book. Grab the sides of the hammock with both hands.  One, two, three, up you go.

Nada.  The baby kicked.

My big ol' pregnant bottom was STUCK.  I could not for the life of me heave or roll myself out of that crazy hammock chair.  There must be a special method.

I pondered that as I sat there exploring my options.  I could sit there until Gana got home.  Which would not have been an unpleasant option had I not been a mosquito feast.  I could just imagine the little buggers calling all their friends and relatives, "Jackpot!  There's a pregnant lady stuck in a swing.  Lots and lots of skin!"  I was a HomeTown Buffet for the family reunion!  I could keep trying.  But, it felt futile at that point.  I could call Gana, but that would have been a good hour or two before he could have wrapped us his work and made it home to me.  By that time the mosquitoes would have sucked all my blood.

There was nothing else to do, but call Meg.  Good thing I had left the door open with only the screen door closed.  I hoped she wasn't sleeping already.

"Meg!........Meg!!!!!!........GANCHIMEG!!!!!!!!!"

Finally a faint, "Coming....."

She found me.  "Meg, honey, I cannot get out of this chair.  Help me."

Ever seen a 60 pound little girl try to pull a 160 pound pregnant lady out of a hammock.  Next time you are in a stressful situation think about that and give yourself a good laugh.

She couldn't do it.  "Mom, should we call Daddy?"  Yes, your father can fix anything.  But he's not here at the moment.

"No, honey.  We can do this!  One more try.  Here we go!!!!!"

And with great effort on both our parts I hurled myself out of the hammock chair.  Whew!  In the process I bent up the cover of my new book.  Bummer.

All that's left to do is laugh.....and count my mosquito bites.